AuthorAimee Lyndon-Adams

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Navigating Through the Chaos Years

Why we are all so out of balance?  There are so many models and books on how to live a life in balance, so why is this still such a chronic problem? We long for more balance in our lives, while at the same time we’re consumed with simply making it through another day.

Rarely does sleep restore us; according to the National Institute of Health, 50 – 70 million adults have sleep or wakefulness disorders.

I’ve worked with several models to create more balance in my own life: models that ask me to prioritize what is important to me and then look at the difference between what I say is important and how I actually spend my time. It’s always a confront. But recently, I came across what seemed to be a radical model that showed a circle with a line down the middle, recommending half of my time be spent on me and the other half on others (and that included work). Still, I felt something was missing.

Then, it hit me: we are the centerpieces of our own Universe; so, if we drew a circle within a circle, the inner circle would represent how we first care and feed the loving relationship with ourselves, the commitment we have to our health and wellness of our bodies, the growth and development of our minds, the feeding of our relationship with spirit and time for fun and play.

The outer circle, our work and finances, intimate relationship and other relationships are fed by the aliveness, creativity, and presence generated by the energy produced in the inner circle. It’s easy to see why we feel like failures, when however successful we are in our work, we are incapable of giving quality time to those we love the most – we’re just too tired.

From a spiritual perspective, western women are here to change the world – how can we do that if we are running exhausted? The role that we signed up for, during the Shift of the Ages, is to be an Anchor for the Light; to be able to hold our grounding and centering in the midst of chaos providing beacons of light in the chaos years. Again, how can we do that if we are all burned out? It is not selfish to feed our mind, body and spirit – it is essential for our own evolution and to accomplish our purpose.

Everybody chooses how they spend their time in Earth, even if you feel you have no choice – that is your choice. If you feel you cannot take 50% of your time to refill yourself, what percentage are you comfortable with? Is that a larger percentage that you currently designate? If you are snapping at your spouse and children, feel guilty at shortchanging your parents, falling asleep at your desk, or aren’t paying attention to the needs of your body, this could be the wake-up call you have been waiting for. Just don’t wait until the wake-up call is more ominous!

 

 

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Seeing Things Differently

Remembering Einstein’s quote: “No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it,” the importance of reframing our thoughts and experiences begs discussion. I’ve shared a couple of insights in past blogs that set the stage for the power of the reframe: The quality of life is all in how you hold it. You can stop terrorizing yourself by
choosing to think empowering thoughts.

Reframing how you are holding a position, a result, or a wound is a way to release the pain and rigidity around it. For example: A client was holding on to a recent seeming failure in her career. It had shaken her confidence, caused her to doubt her original choice to work there and resulted in difficulty in finding another position. As we worked together, she was able to see that the actual reason for her being in that organization, was to complete her karma with her boss.

She recognized that, in fact, there was no way for her to win, except to remove herself and no longer play the game.

That was the win!

A colleague was conflicted in her desire to fulfill her contract in a non-profit that was entrenched in a #MeToo situation.

At the effect of the conflict between those members who wanted to keep everything the same and those who were behind the need for change, she realized that she had experienced past lives in this organization, and had only joined to resign from it, taking back her power and
sovereignty.

I recently underwent a hysterectomy: it was not what I wanted and yet, I surrendered to the fact that my body needed it. After two weeks on the couch, I was feeling pretty sorry for myself.

Imagine my surprise when I felt the nudge from my Guides: write down 10 benefits of having the surgery. The first five came easily related to
what had been removed; the second five surprised me as I saw how my relationships had all been up-stepped as a result. My intimate partner was most attentive to my
needs, and still is; my business partner showed up for me in such a spectacular way, my friends and community showered me in love, gifts, cards and messages. Most of all, I had to acknowledge that I am truly loved.

To re-frame something is to look for a deeper truth, beyond the urgings of the negative ego to find a problem (and, if possible, to make you the problem) and beyond the interpretation you have assigned to it. Usually your initial interpretation is related to a belief, like, “Nobody can be trusted,” or “I’m not good enough.” The limiting belief sets the context for your interpretation.

But, beliefs are just thoughts too – thoughts that we have repeated again and again until they become hardened into, “That’s just the way it is!” And yet, there is always a deeper truth lurking, if only you look for it.

 

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The Purpose of Relationship

Do you remember falling in love? Did it feel as if you had stardust in your eyes, ensuring that you saw your beloved as perfect for you? This cosmic stardust is to make sure that you get together, as you have unfinished business together. You see, the purpose of relationship is to give you another chance to heal what remains unhealed from childhood. You attract someone with matching pictures and patterns and with whom you have a past life history of trying to work things out. You also attract someone who is vibrating at the same level of frequency.

Once the stardust dissipates (as it must – it’s work is done), the work of the relationship begins. Unfortunately, this is where most people decide that they were mistaken, their partner is not the person of their dreams, and they move on; only to repeat the cycle again and again until they settle for less than, perhaps because they feel they need to stay for the sake of the children or perhaps because they have lost hope that there is an alternative to making do.

Finding a partner who is committed to doing the work on themselves without projecting their own wounding on to the other, is essential. At this time on earth, no one is spared from the necessity of doing their healing work; the other simply provides the mirroring. This mirroring affects all of your relationships, not just your intimate ones. As Conscious Business Women, we hold ourselves to a higher standard; not of perfection, for that is not yet possible on the earth plane, but to recognize how each relationship with a client, colleague, boss, employee or vendor is in our lives to help us grow.

It is important to say that if one person within the relationship is committed to raising their vibrational frequency by doing their healing work and the other is not, the gap between them will widen to the point that the only way to connect is to lower one’s frequency, and that creates an even deeper level of suffering. These days, many relationships are ending for this reason.

I have found that respecting one another’s self-esteem is the pre-requisite in creating a safe environment in which to grow and heal. Blaming, sliming, abasing and projecting are all qualities of the third dimension: they create separation. We reincarnated with our soul groups, yet again, determined to bring our karma through to completion. Protecting one another’s self-esteem means never having a motive to make someone feel badly about themselves. Separating out the behavior from the person’s being is the way to do it. This works brilliantly with children too; a child’s physical age has nothing to do with their soul age. A tenet of the fifth dimension is respect for all beings. I yearn for the day when this tenet is the norm for how we all live together on earth.

Don’t you?

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Stop Terrorizing Yourself

In my early 20’s, I became conscious of a negative voice in my head, as I was walking to work, that regaled me with terrifying scenarios, each worse that the last. I remember wondering who that was in my head and how they got there? It sounded so different than my own voice that I couldn’t even imagine it was me!

Ten years later, I was introduced to A Course in Miracles and got my answer. Yes, the voice was my own, a part of me named The Negative Ego. While you cannot murder it off – everything is energy and while you cannot destroy energy, you can transmute it to something else. The first major benefit from studying the course was to heal my relationship with God. I realized that everything I had been taught about God was inaccurate and that God is not outside of myself but within.

The second major benefit was equally life-changing. Not only did I learn that I am the generator of the thoughts I think but that once I become conscious and aware that I am thinking a negative thought, I can choose to think another thought instead. I saw how thinking negative thoughts was an attack on myself – why would I put myself down with such velocity, why would I terrorize myself with fear thoughts that kept me awake at night? Did I hate myself that much? No, I didn’t. I just didn’t understand that we create our reality from our thoughts and emotions, so to indulge in a bout of negative thinking was actually asking the Universe to bring it on!

Rather than beating myself up for the quality of my thoughts, I simply said aloud, “Cancel! Cancel! Cancel!” and then picked another happier, more positive thought to think instead.

Forty years later, I recognize the gift I was given. Unlike so many people, I refuse to terrorize myself through the thoughts I think. For example, I refuse to worry about money, health, whether my partner of 14 years will leave me or what old age will bring. A belief is just a thought you think many times over, so instead, I believe that the

Universe is always conspiring with me to bring me my highest good. Even if something happens that doesn’t immediately look like a plus, I sit with it, asking, “Is this good or is this bad?”

Inevitably, either sooner or later, it is clear that the Universe was serving me.

As we go through these chaos years, you can make it so much harder than it need be by imagining the worst. We asked to be here, we intended to grow as much as possible; why then do we resist when clearly shown that what we think, say and do isn’t working anymore?

Embracing change is just another thought, then we flow with the energies versus being battered by them.

 

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Making Friends with Uncertainty

Does your life feel like a roller-coaster ride: one moment, you are experiencing new heights, new world views, and exhilaration, and in the next, you feel like you are hitting bottom, back where you started and terrified?

We are being asked to take responsibility for choosing to be here, wanting to be here and even fighting to be here! Billions of souls wanted to be on Earth for the unprecedented Shift of the Ages and you are here! Think of it as purchasing a ticket for a roller-coaster ride and then going through the ride, screaming, cringing, holding on for dear life instead of whooping it up with every high and low, shift in pace and enjoying playing right on the edge.

We are in the chaos years; a time of rampant instability – there’s no help for it, whomever and whatever has a lack of integrity in its foundation needs to come down in order for it either to be replaced or rebuilt – not remodeled or renovated on the old foundation!

What does this mean to you? You can embrace the times we are in, align with the need for more integrity in government, in business, in relationship with all beings. Every life experience presents us with a choice – we can choose to process our feelings and then move forward with our next highest choice, or we can sulk, give our power away by deciding we have no choice.

One thing is for sure, it will get worse before it gets better!

So, I encourage you to make friends with uncertainty, to choose to see life as an incredible adventure where the rules are constantly changing and you learn to shift on a dime. We did this in childhood play and we can do it again.

It requires us to keep letting go of life as we’ve known it, to not be attached to beliefs, decisions, behaviors and relationships that no longer work for us. There’s aliveness in uncertainty and deadness in rote, the same old, same old.

Resistance keeps us stuck but openness allows in new considerations: what opportunities does change contain?

What if you stopped viewing the problems as red flags, as show stoppers, but instead looked at how to solve the issues they raised; to shift from problem finding to problem solving.  To see what the potential actually is?

Over the course of my life, I have done this repeatedly, as,“the air went out of the tires” again and again, re-routing me in my work, living situations, relationships until it started to feel normal, a new normal. Holding on to lost causes prolongs the pain. Is it better to rip off the band aid in one tug or to inch it off painful moment by painful moment? I’ve also learned that I’m not alone in this journey – look around, you’ll find many allies along the path. We are stronger together.

 

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Letting Life Be In Charge

Are you ready to stop letting your personal fears dictate your life and instead simply surrender to what life has in store for you? Are you tired of trying to control everyone and everything?

Despite your best efforts, life rarely unfolds the way you want it to! Although you don’t want to
face that you are not in control – it actually is self-evident! Life is the natural result of all the forces in creation, not just the way you think things should unfold for you. You are never powerless in how things do unfold for you; you use your will to chart your life course and to navigate what does come your way.

Interested? First, check your beliefs: do you absolutely believe that the Universe means you well, that the Universe wants you
to have what is highest and best for you? Do you believe that the Universe knows best as to when it can address your needs in the best possible way?

Are you aware how your thoughts and feelings derail your sense of peace and trust in the timing? Isn’t it shocking how the mind imprisons you with its fear, anxiety and tension? It seems that one minute, you are calm and confident and the next you disappear into the grip of the mind, no longer present or peaceful. Similarly, do you notice how your feelings can overwhelm you – that is, if you hold on to them versus letting them simply pass through?

When in the thrall of negativity that makes you feel you are not doing enough, realize that pushing through is not helping: the more you push, the more you push away the result you want and, even worse, the “push energy” goes into your work!

When you first begin practicing letting life be in charge, you quickly get in touch with your resistance. It is as if whatever the Universe sends, you find ways to reject it: it isn’t your preference,
the timing is wrong, it doesn’t fit your pictures.

I did this at first, with the invitation to write a monthly article for this magazine! Fortunately, I quickly recognized that my mind was doing its usual number of trying to create a problem! Then I had a profound realization that my resistance was controlling me! I learned to say, “yes!” and to see where saying, “yes” would take me instead.

Another area of concern revealed itself to me on this path: I got nervous when business slowed down. My agitation sent me spinning into activities that never went anywhere. I over-rode my intuition, my needs and my vision closed down, limiting my options. Instead, I decided to align with the ebb and flow of the Universe, allowing myself to rest and integrate while waiting.

READ THE FULL SIBYL MAGAZINE
(July, 2018 edition)

Integrating the Head and Heart

Have you ever been given feedback in such a gentle way that although you felt loved and cared for, you weren’t at all clear what was being said?

Or, perhaps conversely, you were crystal clear but didn’t feel seen or valued within the exchange?

It is important to Conscious Business Women that we are gracious and connected to our hearts and yet not blurring the lines of communication with our caring. I like to think about it as the integration of the head and heart. The heart wants to assure you that you are appreciated, cared for, and that support is available; the head wants to make sure that you know exactly what you are doing that needs improvement, that you are committed to finding a solution and that you are aware of the potential consequences of not changing your behavior.

From my own executive experience in Corporate America, the head was more honored than the heart. Being called, “soft” was not a compliment! And yet, those managers who, “called it the way they saw it,” with little regard for the feelings of those they were addressing, didn’t fare any better in the annual employee feedback survey.

Whether you are trying to improve the behavior of your spouse, your child, your employee, your colleague, or even yourself, protecting the person’s self-esteem is vital. If you cut a person down, they will stop believing in themselves; if you imply they can do nothing right – you will find yourself trapped in the role of constantly telling them what to do. And yet, if you are so intent on building them up, you will confuse them as what the actual issue is and they will see no reason to change!

The solution is to balance the input from the head and the heart.

The heart wants to make sure the conversation is held in private, and to ensure you understand that you are doing most things well; yet understand what needs to improve.

The head needs you to understand that this one thing is undermining the rest of your performance and that not fixing it will have specified negative consequences. Then, the head and heart want to work together to help you to resolve the issue and commit to it. The head wants the specifics clearly defined and the heart wants to offer whatever support is needed. The head wants to be sure that when the conversation is over, you walk away with a clear understanding: what the issue is, why it is unacceptable, how to fix it and the consequences of not fixing it.

This process works as beautifully for self-coaching as it does for coaching others. Some see the head as a masculine trait and the heart as a feminine trait, but actually we all have both traits regardless of our sex. What a beautiful modeling of the equality between the sexes and how working together in harmony yields a higher and better outcome for all.

READ THE FULL SIBYL MAGAZINE
(June, 2018 edition)

Letting Go of Control

Aren’t you tired of trying to control everyone and everything – it is so exhausting!

And, despite your best efforts, life rarely unfolds the way you want it to. As a conscious business woman, I didn’t want to face that I am not in control – but it actually is self-evident! Life is the natural result of all the forces in creation, not just the way I think things should unfold for me. Of course, I am not powerless, I use my will to chart my course through life and how to navigate what does, in fact, come my way. And, I absolutely believe that the Universe means me well, that the Universe wants me to have what is highest and best for me. It even knows when it can address my needs in the best possible way.

Yet, I am also aware how my thoughts and feelings derail my sense of peace and trust that all is unfolding the way it is meant to. It is shocking how the mind imprisons me with its fear, anxiety and tension. It seems that one minute, I am calm and confident and then suddenly I’ve disappeared into the grip of the mind, no longer present and certainly no longer peaceful.

Similarly, I noticed how my feelings could overwhelm me – if I held on to them versus letting them simply pass through.

When in the thrall of negative feelings and thoughts that make me feel I am not doing enough, I realize that pushing through does not help: the more I push, the more I push away the result I want and even worse the “push energy” goes into the communications I am sending!

When I first began practicing letting life be in charge, I quickly got in touch with my resistance. It was as if whatever the Universe sent me, I found ways to reject it: it wasn’t my preference, the timing was wrong, or it didn’t fit my pictures.

Fortunately, I quickly recognized that my mind was doing its usual number of trying to create a problem! Then I had a profound realization that my resistance was controlling me! I learned to say, “Yes!” and to see where saying, “Yes” would take me instead.

Another area of concern revealed itself to me on this path: I got nervous when business slowed down. My agitation sent me spinning into activities that never went anywhere except depleting me. I over-rode my intuitions, the needs of my body and my vision closed down, limiting my options. Instead, I decided to align with the natural rhythms of the Universe, ebb and flow, and to allow myself to rest and integrate while I was waiting.

Getting out of my own way, allows the Universe to bring me more and more of my heart’s desires, giving me integration time so that I can receive even more of what serves me.

Can you relate?

READ THE FULL SIBYL MAGAZINE
(May, 2018 edition)

A Conscious Business Woman Manifesto

When I heard the Dalai Lama say, many years ago, that it was the western woman who would save the world, I took it personally.

I had long been working in the field of business, first as a corporate executive and then, like so many other women disgusted with the corporate politics, I became an entrepreneur. The issue, I eventually realized, was that the current business model was written by men for men. This is not a criticism but a fact.

I resolved to do business differently, consciously and ultimately developed, with my business partner, Karen Halseth, a Conscious Business Woman Manifesto with nine tenets. We identified what made us uncomfortable in the male business model: for example, corruption, exclusion, competition, patriarchy, and greed. Our Manifesto would focus on such qualities as integrity, active listening, collaboration, inclusivity, sustainability and sharing the wealth. A Conscious Business Woman knows that women are her allies not her rivals.

When we introduced it at one of our monthly networking gatherings, Developing Alliances: Professional Gatherings for Extraordinary Women, our audience roared their appreciation. It was one our finest moments to witness 70 women standing, reading the Manifesto aloud and then sitting down to sign it. As Conscious Business Women, we hold enormous power; we choose who we do business with, invest with, and partner with.

Today there are almost 250 million women running businesses across the world and on average more than a third of global firms have female owners.

We realized that many business women have been trained by men in the art of manipulation, using bullying techniques such as shaming and creating false states of urgency to keep the pressure on. We committed to only bring in speakers who were aligned with the Manifesto, and to not reward those salespeople who were invested in the old model. As Conscious Business Women, we value developing a relationship with another business woman first, the “know-like- and trust” model. I want to know who you are, what you stand for, and to see if we can relate to each other before I sign up for one of your programs. Don’t you?

The heart has been trashed in the old model, it’s clear that the head rules when you look at decisions made by share-holders and governing bodies that are greed-based and demonstrate their disregard for the wellbeing of those less fortunate. And yet, it has been proven that the heart is actually more intelligent than the brain – no surprise there!

What if we all worked together for the good of all people?

Can you imagine a world like that?

We are seeing another powerful way that women are saving the world through the “Me Too!” and “Time’s Up” movements, by finding their voices and speaking out.

How are you playing your part? We’d love to hear from you.

READ THE FULL SIBYL MAGAZINE (April, 2018 edition) BY CLICKING HERE.

In Praise of Ease

Up until now, pain is seemingly a non-negotiable, but suffering is a different matter; it is a choice.

Instead of suffering and struggling, we could choose the path of ease and joy. Suffering comes from resisting what is happening. Ease and joy comes from flowing with it. Every time you experience suffering, it is a sign that you are off track and have stepped out of the flow. Suffering comes from pushing our bodies to perform beyond the balance point that preserves your wellbeing. Continuing to work in this “danger zone” further stresses, depletes and exhausts you.

With so many choices and responsibilities in life, you may find yourself pushed to your limit, unable to relax when you do have a moment and disconnected from the people and activities you most enjoy. What’s perhaps even worse is that you always feel stalked by failure, fear, anxiety.

One popular solution is to live a simpler life, but, what if there was a way to navigate your life in a way that allowed you to fully show up for the people and activities that truly matter to you, and let you refuel, reboot and rejuvenate along the way?

A few benefits: When your body is at rest, you are your most creative, powerful and strong. When stressed, vision closes down and reduces your options; when you are relaxed, vision opens up and you are able to see many choices. Stress creates more problems; you get to waste time cleaning up your messes, instead of getting it right the first time. Ease and joy become ways you navigate through life; course correcting each time you
recognize you have chosen off path.

I was lucky that in my late 20’s, I heard a term that really got my attention: restful alertness, the ability to be deeply at rest in the midst of activity. The teachers of this meditation practice were
peaceful and yet dynamic, and charismatic. Later, I explored the idea of being “comfortable in my own skin” through a process of grounding and centering. These two practices have become a way of life for me. My life partner added another, “Don’t hold unnecessary tension in the body.”

I keep my choice for joy and ease top of mind. My body is now a tool of discernment. I trust it completely. Its innate wisdom helps me determine what I want to do (my body opens, moves
forward, feels upbeat) and what I don’t (my body contracts, moves away from and feels overwhelmed). My body also lets me know when it needs a break; I lose the ability to focus, feel restless or start yawning. These breaks can be as short as 5-10 minutes, time for a walk around the garden, drink a cup of tea mindfully, or close the eyes for a few minutes.

If you believe that life is a struggle, remember that Maya Angelou says, “When you know better, you do better.”

READ THE FULL SIBYL MAGAZINE (March, 2018 edition) BY CLICKING HERE.

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