Why we are all so out of balance?  There are so many models and books on how to live a life in balance, so why is this still such a chronic problem? We long for more balance in our lives, while at the same time we’re consumed with simply making it through another day.

Rarely does sleep restore us; according to the National Institute of Health, 50 – 70 million adults have sleep or wakefulness disorders.

I’ve worked with several models to create more balance in my own life: models that ask me to prioritize what is important to me and then look at the difference between what I say is important and how I actually spend my time. It’s always a confront. But recently, I came across what seemed to be a radical model that showed a circle with a line down the middle, recommending half of my time be spent on me and the other half on others (and that included work). Still, I felt something was missing.

Then, it hit me: we are the centerpieces of our own Universe; so, if we drew a circle within a circle, the inner circle would represent how we first care and feed the loving relationship with ourselves, the commitment we have to our health and wellness of our bodies, the growth and development of our minds, the feeding of our relationship with spirit and time for fun and play.

The outer circle, our work and finances, intimate relationship and other relationships are fed by the aliveness, creativity, and presence generated by the energy produced in the inner circle. It’s easy to see why we feel like failures, when however successful we are in our work, we are incapable of giving quality time to those we love the most – we’re just too tired.

From a spiritual perspective, western women are here to change the world – how can we do that if we are running exhausted? The role that we signed up for, during the Shift of the Ages, is to be an Anchor for the Light; to be able to hold our grounding and centering in the midst of chaos providing beacons of light in the chaos years. Again, how can we do that if we are all burned out? It is not selfish to feed our mind, body and spirit – it is essential for our own evolution and to accomplish our purpose.

Everybody chooses how they spend their time in Earth, even if you feel you have no choice – that is your choice. If you feel you cannot take 50% of your time to refill yourself, what percentage are you comfortable with? Is that a larger percentage that you currently designate? If you are snapping at your spouse and children, feel guilty at shortchanging your parents, falling asleep at your desk, or aren’t paying attention to the needs of your body, this could be the wake-up call you have been waiting for. Just don’t wait until the wake-up call is more ominous!

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Remembering Einstein’s quote: “No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it,” the importance of reframing our thoughts and experiences begs discussion. I’ve shared a couple of insights in past blogs that set the stage for the power of the reframe: The quality of life is all in how you hold it. You can stop terrorizing yourself by
choosing to think empowering thoughts.

Reframing how you are holding a position, a result, or a wound is a way to release the pain and rigidity around it. For example: A client was holding on to a recent seeming failure in her career. It had shaken her confidence, caused her to doubt her original choice to work there and resulted in difficulty in finding another position. As we worked together, she was able to see that the actual reason for her being in that organization, was to complete her karma with her boss.

She recognized that, in fact, there was no way for her to win, except to remove herself and no longer play the game.

That was the win!

A colleague was conflicted in her desire to fulfill her contract in a non-profit that was entrenched in a #MeToo situation.

At the effect of the conflict between those members who wanted to keep everything the same and those who were behind the need for change, she realized that she had experienced past lives in this organization, and had only joined to resign from it, taking back her power and
sovereignty.

I recently underwent a hysterectomy: it was not what I wanted and yet, I surrendered to the fact that my body needed it. After two weeks on the couch, I was feeling pretty sorry for myself.

Imagine my surprise when I felt the nudge from my Guides: write down 10 benefits of having the surgery. The first five came easily related to
what had been removed; the second five surprised me as I saw how my relationships had all been up-stepped as a result. My intimate partner was most attentive to my
needs, and still is; my business partner showed up for me in such a spectacular way, my friends and community showered me in love, gifts, cards and messages. Most of all, I had to acknowledge that I am truly loved.

To re-frame something is to look for a deeper truth, beyond the urgings of the negative ego to find a problem (and, if possible, to make you the problem) and beyond the interpretation you have assigned to it. Usually your initial interpretation is related to a belief, like, “Nobody can be trusted,” or “I’m not good enough.” The limiting belief sets the context for your interpretation.

But, beliefs are just thoughts too – thoughts that we have repeated again and again until they become hardened into, “That’s just the way it is!” And yet, there is always a deeper truth lurking, if only you look for it.

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Do you remember falling in love? Did it feel as if you had stardust in your eyes, ensuring that you saw your beloved as perfect for you? This cosmic stardust is to make sure that you get together, as you have unfinished business together. You see, the purpose of relationship is to give you another chance to heal what remains unhealed from childhood. You attract someone with matching pictures and patterns and with whom you have a past life history of trying to work things out. You also attract someone who is vibrating at the same level of frequency.

Once the stardust dissipates (as it must – it’s work is done), the work of the relationship begins. Unfortunately, this is where most people decide that they were mistaken, their partner is not the person of their dreams, and they move on; only to repeat the cycle again and again until they settle for less than, perhaps because they feel they need to stay for the sake of the children or perhaps because they have lost hope that there is an alternative to making do.

Finding a partner who is committed to doing the work on themselves without projecting their own wounding on to the other, is essential. At this time on earth, no one is spared from the necessity of doing their healing work; the other simply provides the mirroring. This mirroring affects all of your relationships, not just your intimate ones. As Conscious Business Women, we hold ourselves to a higher standard; not of perfection, for that is not yet possible on the earth plane, but to recognize how each relationship with a client, colleague, boss, employee or vendor is in our lives to help us grow.

It is important to say that if one person within the relationship is committed to raising their vibrational frequency by doing their healing work and the other is not, the gap between them will widen to the point that the only way to connect is to lower one’s frequency, and that creates an even deeper level of suffering. These days, many relationships are ending for this reason.

I have found that respecting one another’s self-esteem is the pre-requisite in creating a safe environment in which to grow and heal. Blaming, sliming, abasing and projecting are all qualities of the third dimension: they create separation. We reincarnated with our soul groups, yet again, determined to bring our karma through to completion. Protecting one another’s self-esteem means never having a motive to make someone feel badly about themselves. Separating out the behavior from the person’s being is the way to do it. This works brilliantly with children too; a child’s physical age has nothing to do with their soul age. A tenet of the fifth dimension is respect for all beings. I yearn for the day when this tenet is the norm for how we all live together on earth.

Don’t you?

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To read this article and more,
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To read this article and more,
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Are you ready to stop letting your personal fears dictate your life and instead simply surrender to what life has in store for you? Are you tired of trying to control everyone and everything?

Despite your best efforts, life rarely unfolds the way you want it to! Although you don’t want to
face that you are not in control – it actually is self-evident! Life is the natural result of all the forces in creation, not just the way you think things should unfold for you. You are never powerless in how things do unfold for you; you use your will to chart your life course and to navigate what does come your way.

Interested? First, check your beliefs: do you absolutely believe that the Universe means you well, that the Universe wants you
to have what is highest and best for you? Do you believe that the Universe knows best as to when it can address your needs in the best possible way?

Are you aware how your thoughts and feelings derail your sense of peace and trust in the timing? Isn’t it shocking how the mind imprisons you with its fear, anxiety and tension? It seems that one minute, you are calm and confident and the next you disappear into the grip of the mind, no longer present or peaceful. Similarly, do you notice how your feelings can overwhelm you – that is, if you hold on to them versus letting them simply pass through?

When in the thrall of negativity that makes you feel you are not doing enough, realize that pushing through is not helping: the more you push, the more you push away the result you want and, even worse, the “push energy” goes into your work!

When you first begin practicing letting life be in charge, you quickly get in touch with your resistance. It is as if whatever the Universe sends, you find ways to reject it: it isn’t your preference,
the timing is wrong, it doesn’t fit your pictures.

I did this at first, with the invitation to write a monthly article for this magazine! Fortunately, I quickly recognized that my mind was doing its usual number of trying to create a problem! Then I had a profound realization that my resistance was controlling me! I learned to say, “yes!” and to see where saying, “yes” would take me instead.

Another area of concern revealed itself to me on this path: I got nervous when business slowed down. My agitation sent me spinning into activities that never went anywhere. I over-rode my intuition, my needs and my vision closed down, limiting my options. Instead, I decided to align with the ebb and flow of the Universe, allowing myself to rest and integrate while waiting.

READ THE FULL SIBYL MAGAZINE
(July, 2018 edition)

Have you ever been given feedback in such a gentle way that although you felt loved and cared for, you weren’t at all clear what was being said?

Or, perhaps conversely, you were crystal clear but didn’t feel seen or valued within the exchange?

It is important to Conscious Business Women that we are gracious and connected to our hearts and yet not blurring the lines of communication with our caring. I like to think about it as the integration of the head and heart. The heart wants to assure you that you are appreciated, cared for, and that support is available; the head wants to make sure that you know exactly what you are doing that needs improvement, that you are committed to finding a solution and that you are aware of the potential consequences of not changing your behavior.

From my own executive experience in Corporate America, the head was more honored than the heart. Being called, “soft” was not a compliment! And yet, those managers who, “called it the way they saw it,” with little regard for the feelings of those they were addressing, didn’t fare any better in the annual employee feedback survey.

Whether you are trying to improve the behavior of your spouse, your child, your employee, your colleague, or even yourself, protecting the person’s self-esteem is vital. If you cut a person down, they will stop believing in themselves; if you imply they can do nothing right – you will find yourself trapped in the role of constantly telling them what to do. And yet, if you are so intent on building them up, you will confuse them as what the actual issue is and they will see no reason to change!

The solution is to balance the input from the head and the heart.

The heart wants to make sure the conversation is held in private, and to ensure you understand that you are doing most things well; yet understand what needs to improve.

The head needs you to understand that this one thing is undermining the rest of your performance and that not fixing it will have specified negative consequences. Then, the head and heart want to work together to help you to resolve the issue and commit to it. The head wants the specifics clearly defined and the heart wants to offer whatever support is needed. The head wants to be sure that when the conversation is over, you walk away with a clear understanding: what the issue is, why it is unacceptable, how to fix it and the consequences of not fixing it.

This process works as beautifully for self-coaching as it does for coaching others. Some see the head as a masculine trait and the heart as a feminine trait, but actually we all have both traits regardless of our sex. What a beautiful modeling of the equality between the sexes and how working together in harmony yields a higher and better outcome for all.

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(June, 2018 edition)

Aren’t you tired of trying to control everyone and everything – it is so exhausting!

And, despite your best efforts, life rarely unfolds the way you want it to. As a conscious business woman, I didn’t want to face that I am not in control – but it actually is self-evident! Life is the natural result of all the forces in creation, not just the way I think things should unfold for me. Of course, I am not powerless, I use my will to chart my course through life and how to navigate what does, in fact, come my way. And, I absolutely believe that the Universe means me well, that the Universe wants me to have what is highest and best for me. It even knows when it can address my needs in the best possible way.

Yet, I am also aware how my thoughts and feelings derail my sense of peace and trust that all is unfolding the way it is meant to. It is shocking how the mind imprisons me with its fear, anxiety and tension. It seems that one minute, I am calm and confident and then suddenly I’ve disappeared into the grip of the mind, no longer present and certainly no longer peaceful.

Similarly, I noticed how my feelings could overwhelm me – if I held on to them versus letting them simply pass through.

When in the thrall of negative feelings and thoughts that make me feel I am not doing enough, I realize that pushing through does not help: the more I push, the more I push away the result I want and even worse the “push energy” goes into the communications I am sending!

When I first began practicing letting life be in charge, I quickly got in touch with my resistance. It was as if whatever the Universe sent me, I found ways to reject it: it wasn’t my preference, the timing was wrong, or it didn’t fit my pictures.

Fortunately, I quickly recognized that my mind was doing its usual number of trying to create a problem! Then I had a profound realization that my resistance was controlling me! I learned to say, “Yes!” and to see where saying, “Yes” would take me instead.

Another area of concern revealed itself to me on this path: I got nervous when business slowed down. My agitation sent me spinning into activities that never went anywhere except depleting me. I over-rode my intuitions, the needs of my body and my vision closed down, limiting my options. Instead, I decided to align with the natural rhythms of the Universe, ebb and flow, and to allow myself to rest and integrate while I was waiting.

Getting out of my own way, allows the Universe to bring me more and more of my heart’s desires, giving me integration time so that I can receive even more of what serves me.

Can you relate?

READ THE FULL SIBYL MAGAZINE
(May, 2018 edition)

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