It’s Not How You Start, It’s How You Finish



Most of you know that I was sexually abused as a child from the age 3-5 years old which set up a pattern in my life of attracting every form of abuse – until at age 50, I was able to understand what happened to me and eventually heal it.  The #MeToo movement has highlighted how so many men subordinate women, or worse, in order to take their sexual pleasure.  This would not be possible if a man’s sexuality was connected to his heart.

I remember the years and years I despaired of ever regaining my own natural, innate sexual response.  The childhood abuse quickly entrained me to have no needs, that others’ needs were more important than my own, setting me up to go along with other people’s desires to my own detriment and further shame.

Even if you haven’t experienced abuse, unfortunately and contrary to what some of you would like to believe, you don’t come into this world naturally good at sex, or sexual relationships. Perhaps that might be a relief to those of you who have experienced sexual difficulties and feared that there is something wrong with you. I want you to know that it is not your fault since very few of you have received proper instruction in the sexual arts. Most of what you’ve learned about sex has come to you from extremely questionable sources (parents, religious leaders, pornography, the street and even, the marketplace).

So, if you have sexual problems, if you suffer from insecurity, vulnerability, performance anxiety, a lack of sexual desire, an inability to become aroused, premature ejaculation, erectile dysfunction, or anything else, learning Conscious Sexuality will transform your life, and not just in the bedroom, but in every area of your life.

I’ve learned from Victor, that perhaps the most destructive male sexual myth is that “coming” is a man’s highest option in sex. Nothing could be further from the truth! Now is the time for the men on this planet to see their sexual behavior in a different light. Here’s why! A male genital release is a negative phenomenon. When men come, unlike women, they lose vital life force energy. Consider this: whatever fleeting pleasure men experience in sex lasts only until they come. The energy loss can be so profound that many men experience a post-ejaculation letdown that may include emotional withdrawal, irritability, moodiness, indifference, loss of erection, loss of sexual desire, and even an immediate loss of interest in your partner. Are these symptoms familiar to you?  Did you think you had done something wrong? Has having sex ended with a fight or withdrawal?

The good news for men is that they can learn how to enjoy extended orgasms without ejaculating. You see, equating orgasm with ejaculation is a common mistake. They are actually two distinct physical processes and it’s important to learn how to separate one from the other. So, if you want to prolong your orgasm, you must avoid the trap of coming. A climax is a vastly overrated source of pleasure. It is not compatible with the highest states of sexual ecstasy, and that applies to women as well.

Are you willing to practice to become a better lover and use your sexual practice to raise your vibrational frequency, lifting you into higher states of consciousness?

Learning how to make love in this way with Victor has healed me physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Both men and women can learn the wisdom of channeling sexual energy into the heart to establish the heart-genital connection that defines the true nature of sexual love. Bringing the heart into the equation is a game-changer! Sex without love is one-dimensional. If there is only sex, no matter how intense coming may be, something is missing. Sooner or later, dissatisfaction will creep in since sex without love is just too limited to create a truly memorable experience.

It’s not too late to start over!

Victor’s new book will show you the way! Long Time Coming is available in print, or ebook, at:



We have all been given an opportunity to retreat, slow down and go within. Slowing to a pace that is unfamiliar even for those that regularly slow down and a screeching halt for others. Staying in one place without the usual distractions allows a deeper level of knowing to emerge along with some discomfort.

We are adapting moment by moment to the shifting conditions. The definition of adaptability is: the ability to change or be changed in order to fit or work better in some situation or some purpose. The ability to adapt is a skill that allows you to make shifts on both the micro and macro levels. Adaptability creates the openness where things fall apart and new creations arise. This space allows us to “wake up”. During any given day we can see where we are going through the motions lost in the past or the future, doing what we always do, or embracing the present moment to be with what is.

The chaos and confusion are now so vivid in the world that we have no choice but to acknowledge it. The possibility exists that we will all come to our senses and collectively discover and make higher level choices. Only by staring at the confusion and chaos while examining it will we discover a way forward. To enlighten means to “fully illuminate”, we see the problem and find a solution. Being unaware of the problem is not being enlightened it is being ignorant. Even on a personal level, when we have challenges in our life, the answer is already there; we just need to embrace it. If we are tired, rest, if we are overeating, stop and discover what is underneath the overeating, if we are lonely make a connection with another, one small step at a time.

As lightworkers and leaders we are being asked to hold a higher frequency than ever before. We are holding the spiritual energy that is necessary to invite change individually, locally, nationally and globally, we are ready for the task.

Every morning we get to contemplate what we are doing in our life today and choose the energy we want to bring to it. Are we adding to the fear and anxiety or are we adding to the positivity, compassion and encouragement?

We have a choice in what we adapt to, lets adapt to deepening connection, kindness, equality and sharing our love in the world, and very soon lots and lots of HUGS.

With Love and Light,

Karen Renee

Face to Face with Yourself


I think we all agree that whomever and whatever faces you is a mirror – what you like about what’s happening or about the person you are interacting with, represents what you like about yourself and vice versa.  It’s not always fun or easy – but, since it’s impossible to see ourselves without a mirror, this is the way we grow (or not).

Well, the Coronavirus represents the biggest mirror humanity has ever attracted!

Whether you live alone, or with others, what has it put you in touch with?

Hopefully, rather than worrying about dying, it is teaching you how to live!  Have you taken this opportunity to examine how you’ve been choosing to spend your time and your money?  If you have caught yourself hoarding supplies – has it revealed your belief in non-abundance?   Have you noticed in the quiet and slow down how you have been caught up in the noise and speed of life to see the truth?  How does it feel to have trusted those who you knew couldn’t be trusted and to have handed over your power through misplaced choices?  Are you showing up in a loving way, being of service to others in need?

Are the restrictions of “Shelter in Place” revealing the restrictions you have placed on yourself?  And perhaps, how you have chosen to place financial/career goals above your relationship intimacy, self-care and spiritual growth?  Are you able to see how enslaved you have been to money?

Yes, it’s a confront!  A world-wide jolt to wake us up!  Never has the world been so quiet!  The rivers, the oceans, the air and the earth are all taking this time to cleanse and rebalance – are you?

We’ve spent most of our lives looking for answers outside of ourselves – now, it is the time to look within.

Love and Blessings,


Shining Through the Weather


As we go through our daily lives, we have the opportunity to change the weather of our feelings and emotions affecting our internal well-being and everyone around us.

We can hold a higher vision for ourselves, our businesses and the world, focusing on bringing our light to everything we do.  There are days when it is easy to be upbeat, helpful, hopeful and a shining-brightly person. Then, there are other days that it seems that we are completely surrounded by grumpy, angry, heavy people, and it can feel like a dark cloud has just passed overhead and won’t budge. Buddhist teacher Pema Chödrön says “The mind is as vast as the sky, everything else is only weather.” Allowing the energy and moods of others to affect us and bring us down is like allowing the weather to dictate every moment of your day. We can continue to shine through the darkness, offering our light through our presence to guide and uplift others no matter what is happening around us.

There are many who feel unnoticed, as if their very existence does not matter. We each have the power to offer a moment of grace; say hello, offer a gentle smile and nod, energetically saying, I see you… You Are Here and I Am Here.

We are here to make a difference! It is easy to get lost in the big rainstorms of life business, family, health issues and service, and we think we don’t have time for anything more, often feeling depleted. One way to fill yourself up is to consciously offer your light everywhere you go with every person you meet. Years ago, I started a practice of “being the one who smiles first” I put my smile on prior to walking out the door and softening my eyes wherever I am. Most often I connect with someone who gently smiles back. Some people are not trusting and look away, I smile anyway. It is not just for them, as I feel happier and lighter in the process of sharing my light.

Lighthouses were created for those at sea to come safely to shore in a storm. BE THE LIGHTHOUSE, shine your light to bless yourself and others.

Light and Love,

Karen Reneé

Navigating Through the Chaos Years

Why we are all so out of balance?  There are so many models and books on how to live a life in balance, so why is this still such a chronic problem? We long for more balance in our lives, while at the same time we’re consumed with simply making it through another day.

Rarely does sleep restore us; according to the National Institute of Health, 50 – 70 million adults have sleep or wakefulness disorders.

I’ve worked with several models to create more balance in my own life: models that ask me to prioritize what is important to me and then look at the difference between what I say is important and how I actually spend my time. It’s always a confront. But recently, I came across what seemed to be a radical model that showed a circle with a line down the middle, recommending half of my time be spent on me and the other half on others (and that included work). Still, I felt something was missing.

Then, it hit me: we are the centerpieces of our own Universe; so, if we drew a circle within a circle, the inner circle would represent how we first care and feed the loving relationship with ourselves, the commitment we have to our health and wellness of our bodies, the growth and development of our minds, the feeding of our relationship with spirit and time for fun and play.

The outer circle, our work and finances, intimate relationship and other relationships are fed by the aliveness, creativity, and presence generated by the energy produced in the inner circle. It’s easy to see why we feel like failures, when however successful we are in our work, we are incapable of giving quality time to those we love the most – we’re just too tired.

From a spiritual perspective, western women are here to change the world – how can we do that if we are running exhausted? The role that we signed up for, during the Shift of the Ages, is to be an Anchor for the Light; to be able to hold our grounding and centering in the midst of chaos providing beacons of light in the chaos years. Again, how can we do that if we are all burned out? It is not selfish to feed our mind, body and spirit – it is essential for our own evolution and to accomplish our purpose.

Everybody chooses how they spend their time in Earth, even if you feel you have no choice – that is your choice. If you feel you cannot take 50% of your time to refill yourself, what percentage are you comfortable with? Is that a larger percentage that you currently designate? If you are snapping at your spouse and children, feel guilty at shortchanging your parents, falling asleep at your desk, or aren’t paying attention to the needs of your body, this could be the wake-up call you have been waiting for. Just don’t wait until the wake-up call is more ominous!



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Seeing Things Differently

Remembering Einstein’s quote: “No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it,” the importance of reframing our thoughts and experiences begs discussion. I’ve shared a couple of insights in past blogs that set the stage for the power of the reframe: The quality of life is all in how you hold it. You can stop terrorizing yourself by
choosing to think empowering thoughts.

Reframing how you are holding a position, a result, or a wound is a way to release the pain and rigidity around it. For example: A client was holding on to a recent seeming failure in her career. It had shaken her confidence, caused her to doubt her original choice to work there and resulted in difficulty in finding another position. As we worked together, she was able to see that the actual reason for her being in that organization, was to complete her karma with her boss.

She recognized that, in fact, there was no way for her to win, except to remove herself and no longer play the game.

That was the win!

A colleague was conflicted in her desire to fulfill her contract in a non-profit that was entrenched in a #MeToo situation.

At the effect of the conflict between those members who wanted to keep everything the same and those who were behind the need for change, she realized that she had experienced past lives in this organization, and had only joined to resign from it, taking back her power and

I recently underwent a hysterectomy: it was not what I wanted and yet, I surrendered to the fact that my body needed it. After two weeks on the couch, I was feeling pretty sorry for myself.

Imagine my surprise when I felt the nudge from my Guides: write down 10 benefits of having the surgery. The first five came easily related to
what had been removed; the second five surprised me as I saw how my relationships had all been up-stepped as a result. My intimate partner was most attentive to my
needs, and still is; my business partner showed up for me in such a spectacular way, my friends and community showered me in love, gifts, cards and messages. Most of all, I had to acknowledge that I am truly loved.

To re-frame something is to look for a deeper truth, beyond the urgings of the negative ego to find a problem (and, if possible, to make you the problem) and beyond the interpretation you have assigned to it. Usually your initial interpretation is related to a belief, like, “Nobody can be trusted,” or “I’m not good enough.” The limiting belief sets the context for your interpretation.

But, beliefs are just thoughts too – thoughts that we have repeated again and again until they become hardened into, “That’s just the way it is!” And yet, there is always a deeper truth lurking, if only you look for it.


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The Purpose of Relationship

Do you remember falling in love? Did it feel as if you had stardust in your eyes, ensuring that you saw your beloved as perfect for you? This cosmic stardust is to make sure that you get together, as you have unfinished business together. You see, the purpose of relationship is to give you another chance to heal what remains unhealed from childhood. You attract someone with matching pictures and patterns and with whom you have a past life history of trying to work things out. You also attract someone who is vibrating at the same level of frequency.

Once the stardust dissipates (as it must – it’s work is done), the work of the relationship begins. Unfortunately, this is where most people decide that they were mistaken, their partner is not the person of their dreams, and they move on; only to repeat the cycle again and again until they settle for less than, perhaps because they feel they need to stay for the sake of the children or perhaps because they have lost hope that there is an alternative to making do.

Finding a partner who is committed to doing the work on themselves without projecting their own wounding on to the other, is essential. At this time on earth, no one is spared from the necessity of doing their healing work; the other simply provides the mirroring. This mirroring affects all of your relationships, not just your intimate ones. As Conscious Business Women, we hold ourselves to a higher standard; not of perfection, for that is not yet possible on the earth plane, but to recognize how each relationship with a client, colleague, boss, employee or vendor is in our lives to help us grow.

It is important to say that if one person within the relationship is committed to raising their vibrational frequency by doing their healing work and the other is not, the gap between them will widen to the point that the only way to connect is to lower one’s frequency, and that creates an even deeper level of suffering. These days, many relationships are ending for this reason.

I have found that respecting one another’s self-esteem is the pre-requisite in creating a safe environment in which to grow and heal. Blaming, sliming, abasing and projecting are all qualities of the third dimension: they create separation. We reincarnated with our soul groups, yet again, determined to bring our karma through to completion. Protecting one another’s self-esteem means never having a motive to make someone feel badly about themselves. Separating out the behavior from the person’s being is the way to do it. This works brilliantly with children too; a child’s physical age has nothing to do with their soul age. A tenet of the fifth dimension is respect for all beings. I yearn for the day when this tenet is the norm for how we all live together on earth.

Don’t you?

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Stop Terrorizing Yourself

In my early 20’s, I became conscious of a negative voice in my head, as I was walking to work, that regaled me with terrifying scenarios, each worse that the last. I remember wondering who that was in my head and how they got there? It sounded so different than my own voice that I couldn’t even imagine it was me!

Ten years later, I was introduced to A Course in Miracles and got my answer. Yes, the voice was my own, a part of me named The Negative Ego. While you cannot murder it off – everything is energy and while you cannot destroy energy, you can transmute it to something else. The first major benefit from studying the course was to heal my relationship with God. I realized that everything I had been taught about God was inaccurate and that God is not outside of myself but within.

The second major benefit was equally life-changing. Not only did I learn that I am the generator of the thoughts I think but that once I become conscious and aware that I am thinking a negative thought, I can choose to think another thought instead. I saw how thinking negative thoughts was an attack on myself – why would I put myself down with such velocity, why would I terrorize myself with fear thoughts that kept me awake at night? Did I hate myself that much? No, I didn’t. I just didn’t understand that we create our reality from our thoughts and emotions, so to indulge in a bout of negative thinking was actually asking the Universe to bring it on!

Rather than beating myself up for the quality of my thoughts, I simply said aloud, “Cancel! Cancel! Cancel!” and then picked another happier, more positive thought to think instead.

Forty years later, I recognize the gift I was given. Unlike so many people, I refuse to terrorize myself through the thoughts I think. For example, I refuse to worry about money, health, whether my partner of 14 years will leave me or what old age will bring. A belief is just a thought you think many times over, so instead, I believe that the

Universe is always conspiring with me to bring me my highest good. Even if something happens that doesn’t immediately look like a plus, I sit with it, asking, “Is this good or is this bad?”

Inevitably, either sooner or later, it is clear that the Universe was serving me.

As we go through these chaos years, you can make it so much harder than it need be by imagining the worst. We asked to be here, we intended to grow as much as possible; why then do we resist when clearly shown that what we think, say and do isn’t working anymore?

Embracing change is just another thought, then we flow with the energies versus being battered by them.


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Making Friends with Uncertainty

Does your life feel like a roller-coaster ride: one moment, you are experiencing new heights, new world views, and exhilaration, and in the next, you feel like you are hitting bottom, back where you started and terrified?

We are being asked to take responsibility for choosing to be here, wanting to be here and even fighting to be here! Billions of souls wanted to be on Earth for the unprecedented Shift of the Ages and you are here! Think of it as purchasing a ticket for a roller-coaster ride and then going through the ride, screaming, cringing, holding on for dear life instead of whooping it up with every high and low, shift in pace and enjoying playing right on the edge.

We are in the chaos years; a time of rampant instability – there’s no help for it, whomever and whatever has a lack of integrity in its foundation needs to come down in order for it either to be replaced or rebuilt – not remodeled or renovated on the old foundation!

What does this mean to you? You can embrace the times we are in, align with the need for more integrity in government, in business, in relationship with all beings. Every life experience presents us with a choice – we can choose to process our feelings and then move forward with our next highest choice, or we can sulk, give our power away by deciding we have no choice.

One thing is for sure, it will get worse before it gets better!

So, I encourage you to make friends with uncertainty, to choose to see life as an incredible adventure where the rules are constantly changing and you learn to shift on a dime. We did this in childhood play and we can do it again.

It requires us to keep letting go of life as we’ve known it, to not be attached to beliefs, decisions, behaviors and relationships that no longer work for us. There’s aliveness in uncertainty and deadness in rote, the same old, same old.

Resistance keeps us stuck but openness allows in new considerations: what opportunities does change contain?

What if you stopped viewing the problems as red flags, as show stoppers, but instead looked at how to solve the issues they raised; to shift from problem finding to problem solving.  To see what the potential actually is?

Over the course of my life, I have done this repeatedly, as,“the air went out of the tires” again and again, re-routing me in my work, living situations, relationships until it started to feel normal, a new normal. Holding on to lost causes prolongs the pain. Is it better to rip off the band aid in one tug or to inch it off painful moment by painful moment? I’ve also learned that I’m not alone in this journey – look around, you’ll find many allies along the path. We are stronger together.


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Letting Life Be In Charge

Are you ready to stop letting your personal fears dictate your life and instead simply surrender to what life has in store for you? Are you tired of trying to control everyone and everything?

Despite your best efforts, life rarely unfolds the way you want it to! Although you don’t want to
face that you are not in control – it actually is self-evident! Life is the natural result of all the forces in creation, not just the way you think things should unfold for you. You are never powerless in how things do unfold for you; you use your will to chart your life course and to navigate what does come your way.

Interested? First, check your beliefs: do you absolutely believe that the Universe means you well, that the Universe wants you
to have what is highest and best for you? Do you believe that the Universe knows best as to when it can address your needs in the best possible way?

Are you aware how your thoughts and feelings derail your sense of peace and trust in the timing? Isn’t it shocking how the mind imprisons you with its fear, anxiety and tension? It seems that one minute, you are calm and confident and the next you disappear into the grip of the mind, no longer present or peaceful. Similarly, do you notice how your feelings can overwhelm you – that is, if you hold on to them versus letting them simply pass through?

When in the thrall of negativity that makes you feel you are not doing enough, realize that pushing through is not helping: the more you push, the more you push away the result you want and, even worse, the “push energy” goes into your work!

When you first begin practicing letting life be in charge, you quickly get in touch with your resistance. It is as if whatever the Universe sends, you find ways to reject it: it isn’t your preference,
the timing is wrong, it doesn’t fit your pictures.

I did this at first, with the invitation to write a monthly article for this magazine! Fortunately, I quickly recognized that my mind was doing its usual number of trying to create a problem! Then I had a profound realization that my resistance was controlling me! I learned to say, “yes!” and to see where saying, “yes” would take me instead.

Another area of concern revealed itself to me on this path: I got nervous when business slowed down. My agitation sent me spinning into activities that never went anywhere. I over-rode my intuition, my needs and my vision closed down, limiting my options. Instead, I decided to align with the ebb and flow of the Universe, allowing myself to rest and integrate while waiting.

(July, 2018 edition)

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