The Road Ahead: What Will You Do Differently This Year?

Changing the way things are done can bring opportunities for greater success, but reaction to change may bring up fears, both obvious and subtle, that can result in a decrease in quality and a loss of production. When it comes to work and business, it can be tempting to give in to those anxieties by doing what’s always been done, you know, the comfort zone syndrome.

I recently moved to a new home and embraced that idea of not doing my day the same way I have in the past. Being in inquiry has proved to be very valuable: what is the outcome I desire? Am I giving myself the opportunity to achieve that outcome? What sets me up to be my best self in all areas? What brings me joy no matter what I am doing? And, priming the pump to have a better year always involves some form of adjustment to free up the time, money, mindsets and energy to tackle new opportunities.

Here are some areas to ponder to help you decide
 what changes are the most important ones to make?

Ask yourself these questions:

  • What personal and business tolerations interfered with personal and work progress? To tolerate is defined as, “To allow something, even if it is not your practice or something that you like.”  Tolerations are a good indication of issues that are calling for you to recognize and be shifted.
  • Were last year’s goals reached? Why or why not? When you recognize why and how you specifically achieved a goal you can then recreate the success. Often the issue with not achieving what you wanted is that the goals were not written down or if they were not reviewed regularly.  Setting new goals without having evaluated the previous year’s goals can result in a cycle of substandard results. Without beating yourself up how will you begin this year differently?
  • What fiscally responsible goal (making more money, collaborating, creating new products/services, improved marketing strategy, etc.) will also be fun? If you are not passionate and enjoying what you are doing/creating it will be evident in your work.
  • What do you need to change to have a better year?

  • Choose passion over profit. Connect to your bigger purpose in life, work and business and the rewards will flow effortlessly. Passionate people attract success and have a lot more enjoyment along the way.
  • Higher learning. Technology changes fast. Staying on top of what’s working now is only half the battle. Discovering what’s up and coming, and leveraging that knowledge, is the key to an exceptional year. If technology does not thrill you, hire someone to support you that love it. Technology is an avenue that can enhance the ease in running your business; let it work for you.
  • Celebrate success. Acknowledging and rewarding success keeps everyone motivated. Mark those mini-milestones with celebration and recognition every day! Also, make it a practice to share your successes with a trusted advisor regularly.
  • Add, don’t subtract. Your products and services will be consistently changing. When you notice a shift in what is being purchased, there is an opportunity to change. Instead of cutting prices, add value instead–bundle existing services/products, add bonuses or create new offerings.
  • What are your blind spots? Blind spots in the work and business environment can be harder to identify than those in your car. Find a trusted advisor/coach to help you identify your blind spots. This can be a very liberating experience.
  • Ask around. Getting honest feedback from clients, customers and service providers is invaluable. Your greatest opportunities and growth can come from soliciting well-intentioned feedback. Sometimes what needs to change is missed because it is so “obvious.”

The New Year is the traditional starting place for setting goals and revaluating, and yet, it is only one option. Everyday provides an opportunity to start over, leaving behind that which did not meet your expectations while meeting the new day fresh.

I know without a doubt that you have tremendous gifts and talents that are waiting to be realized and expressed. If you do not bring them forth everyone loses. Your work/business provides an avenue for the deepest amount of growth and self-expression. Will you say, “YES, I AM ALL IN” throughout 2016?

Success is determined by both the small and large accomplishments all linked together: don’t wait another moment!

Love and Blessings…

Making Time for Self-Reflection

December is upon us, ushering in the end of 2015; isn’t it amazing how fast the time has gone?

This is the perfect time for completions, an essential component to align your energies for the New Year. I hear you groan, “How can I add one more thing with everything I already have ahead of me to make it through the holidays and this year?”

Just for a moment contemplate what it would be like to survive this month, but to actually, thrive and enjoy it fully?

With the tendency to add more to-do’s and pressure to your life it is more important than ever to slow down and connect within. If you are overextending yourself and just getting through the days you will miss the opportunity for reflection. How you began the year was important and how you end it is just as important.

The past year has provided many challenges; no one has been immune; we have experienced energies that have never before been present. Each day became an adventure in learning how to navigate new territory. Along with the challenges came miracles and breakthroughs in relationships, heart-openings, business and every area of life; capturing these moments will show you the richness of this year’s journey.

You know where you started, here are a number of questions for you to consider as you move toward the finish line of 2015. You may decide to walk with one question at a time, jot down insights that come up during the day allowing your inner guidance to direct you. Or, block out some quiet uninterrupted time to deeply reflect. Add any of your own questions that are calling to be answered:

  1. What specific results have you achieved so far this year?

  2. Are you healthier, wealthier, and wiser? Describe in detail.

  3. Are you making progress towards your life’s vision or just holding ground?

  4. What results are you committed to achieve by the end of the year?

  5. How have you grown and what have you learned this year?

  6. Is there any unfinished business that needs to be tended to in your life?

  7. Are you actively pursuing what truly matters on a daily basis? If not, what is important at this time?

  8. What habits do you need to change to ensure better results?

  9. What is the key issue that inhibits your ability to perform at your best?

I suggest you give yourself the time to answer and honor these questions, because when it comes to the last days of the year, everyday and everything you do counts.

Blessings and love…

Here Come the Holidays: Ready or Not!

I am so happy now that I have been around long enough to see the payoff of gaining some wisdom.

Yes, I claim that I carry wisdom and tons of it, although in the past that wisdom often went out the window when I was with family, especially during the holidays.

Oh, you know how it goes; you start out really great, so happy to see each other, happy to be connecting again, and then the old habits and judgments start leaking in. You remember how you have always been irritated with this behavior and that behavior; you would think there had been enough years that have gone by that you each would have evolved a bit! So how do you relate lovingly in spite of it all?

The saying, “Words are cheap, action speaks,” is never more true than when applied to family situations and sharing your love. Whether interacting with a romantic partner, your children or other family members, if the actions aren’t there to back up the loving words, it all means nothing. Below are 10 of the best ways to say, “I love you” in your actions. But there are thousands more. See how creative you can get in coming up with your own ideas.

  1. Greet your loved ones with a big smile, a hug and a kiss.
  2. Really listen to what your loved ones are saying; give them your undivided and undistracted attention (turn off the cell phone!).
  3. Spend time doing some things they enjoy, you may find you enjoy them also.
  4. Do simple (even random) acts of kindness, such as massaging shoulders or feet, cooking a favorite meal, running a bath.
  5. Spend one-on-one time with your loved ones, with no particular agenda.
  6. Commit to truly accepting each other’s faults and quirks.
  7. Be kind and respectful no matter what you are sharing, always preserving another’s self-esteem (as well as your own).
  8. Be impeccable with your word. If you say you’ll do something, do it, and within the timeframe that you said you’d do it.
  9. Take responsibility for your part in any conflict, and then look at how you can do better next time. Step out of the blame game.
  10. Share yourself and what lives deeply inside of you. This is a precious gift and conveys trust and security.

During my recent trip to visit family #10 played a big role.

I have always been seen as different in my family, not less than, and yet very different. Over the years, I was not fully myself, attempting to smooth the waters and fit in, but not this time. I showed up fully being myself, and guess what…I was acknowledged, appreciated and valued. Yes, we have all changed over the years and yet what made the change possible is that “I” made the decision to show up differently, I decided to let my light shine, share my insights, ideas and opinions and let their reaction be fine, whatever that reaction was. Much to my delight, the reaction I received was very positive.

I also decided to be very curious about each of them. I committed to engage deeply with each person, expressing curiosity about their interests, even when they were foreign to me; after all, isn’t that what I wanted to receive?  I enjoyed experiencing each person’s passion.  I noticed them lighting up as they shared it with me.

As you enter into this holiday season, spending time with family, friends, colleagues and loved ones, I invite you let your past stories fall away and step into each moment, be more present. and allow your true light and love to shine through.

Share your experiences and insights at we would love to hear from you!

Blessings and love…

Why Success Doesn’t Automatically Bring Fulfillment

Are you a professional who realizes that the success you have worked so hard to achieve has not brought you the fulfillment it promised?

When you focus on success in one arena, it usually means you are paying a price in other areas of your life.

Let me use an example, one that’s very familiar to many of you reading this article.

What price are you paying for your success?

How many of you feel that you give the best of yourself to your work and the worst of yourself to your loved ones?  I know that I used to do just that!   Get up at the crack of dawn to go to the office and burn the midnight oil trying to get everything done – a losing battle, for sure.   Exhausted, I had nothing left in the tank for my relationship and not surprisingly it failed!  And the next one, and the next one! Until one day, it hit me – I had put on about 30 lbs, was dragging myself out of bed every day – it didn’t matter how much money I was making, I never had anytime to enjoy it or anyone special to spend it with!

Are you constantly shortchanging yourself?

Do you feel like you’re trying to fit your life in around your work and realize that you are constantly shortchanging yourself?  When we ask our clients what truly matters to them, most married people agree that it’s their family, their spouses and their kids.  It’s the reason they are working so hard.  And yet, if we ask the spouses and kids, their biggest complaint is lack of quality time with our client!

Most of our clients also agree that relationship intimacy is what truly matters and yet it’s the area that typically suffers the most!  Being chained to your PDA, like an umbilical cord, doesn’t create a lot of room for intimacy and neither does repeatedly getting home from work exhausted – right?

Others quote their health as what truly matters and yet invest no time or energy in eating well, exercising and getting enough rest.  But they do tell themselves that someday they will join a gym, or go to the one they pay dues to! Or someday, they will lose the extra pounds that creep on every year.  In one of the Fortune 500 companies I used to work for, it was 10 lbs a year!  Unfortunately, someday is not a day of the week!

Where is the gap?

What is in the gap between success and fulfillment for you, and between what you say is important versus what you do about it?  Do one thing differently to close that gap now.

I could go on, but you get the point!  Fulfillment comes from knowing what’s most important to you, and making sure that you invest enough of your energy in the right places to get a positive return on your investment.

If this article stirred a response in you, we’d love to hear your thoughts at

Be well,

Are You Living Your Own Life?

We named our business What Truly Matters: Redefining Success, so you can imagine, we have given this topic a lot of attention. We find that while many people are successful, just as many successful people still feel unfulfilled.  How could that be?

When we begin working with a client one of the first areas of inquiry is “what truly matters to you”? We are often met with a level of stunned silence, a far off look that holds deep yearning, or immediate tears.

Many express that they just don’t know anymore, for some, they don’t dare express their deepest desires for fear of facing disappointment.

Fulfillment in life is related to how well you are living in alignment with what’s truly important to you  – not to someone else, or to someone’s else’s vision for your life!

Do your decisions emerge from the essence of who you are—not from who you think you should be?

Take this quiz to see how well you are living a life that is of your own making:

TRUE  |  FALSE I have spent time thinking about what’s important to me, and I can articulate those things.
TRUE  |  FALSE While I outside forces such as my parents, teachers, and society have influenced me , I have not simply adopted their values and beliefs. My own values and beliefs come from deep inside.
TRUE  |  FALSE I am not easily swayed by others’ opinions. I know my own mind.
TRUE  |  FALSE In order to remain open and flexible, I am willing to re-examine my opinions and beliefs to determine whether something is still true for me. I am interested in other points of view.
TRUE  |  FALSE My spouse/partner is a good match for me. We share in a way that pleases me and have an ideal amount of separate space. We don’t have to agree on everything.
TRUE  |  FALSE I chose my occupation, or choose to remain in it, because it most closely utilizes my skills, strengths and passions.
TRUE  |  FALSE I also choose my friends. I don’t go along with a friendship that doesn’t feel right just because that person pursued me.
TRUE  |  FALSE Any spirituality I practice feeds my soul.
TRUE  |  FALSE I have aspirations. I spend time thinking about them and taking action toward those that are most important to me.
TRUE  |  FALSE Anyone looking at my life from the outside would see what I value.
TRUE  |  FALSE On the rare occasion when I let someone break a boundary or persuade me to do something I don’t want to do, as soon as I’m aware of it, I take steps to stop and correct the situation.

If you answered false more often than true, we invite you to clarify what is truly important to you and then find ways to bring your life into greater alignment with those values. You can begin living the life you truly desire!

Now, ready to begin?

Please don’t hesitate to email if you’d like support in redefining your success —

Love and blessings,

Cultivating Curiosity as a Business Practice

questionsCuriosity has been given a bad rap. Perhaps we grew up hearing that asking a question was rude or conveyed ignorance, or that we’d get into trouble if we were like Curious George. We might even have been warned that, “Curiosity killed the cat!”

The truth is that curiosity is one of the most vital and life-affirming qualities you can bring to your life and your relationships. I have a friend that is a master in the area of curiosity, I feel enriched when I am with her, I actually gain a deeper understanding of myself that is invited by her curiosity.

Stop blaming others

It is so easy to blame others when things go wrong. Consider being curious about your experience rather than critical. For example, instead of beating yourself up, or blaming someone else, for not reaching sales goals—again—try asking yourself what is going on for you that you keep performing below your expectations? With an attitude of, “How fascinating that I’ve created this!” you are much more likely to help yourself find new solutions to attaining your goals. Implementing the solutions can infuse your business with new energy and enthusiasm.

Opening to possibility

Helen Keller said, “Life is a daring adventure or nothing at all!” When you cultivate an attitude of curiosity, doors open and adventures begin; questions lead to new possibilities. For example, asking yourself, “What do I want to learn now and where might that lead me?” can set you on a journey of exciting exploration that moves you forward. Often we hear information through a filter of, “I already know this!” that shuts off the possibility of discovering something new that could rock your world. What if you were to listen with an ear that allowed you to hear something new or gave you a new idea of how to apply it?


How often we assume we know what someone else is thinking or experiencing. What if we came from a place of not knowing and offered others an invitation to speak? According to Sharon Ellison, creator of Powerful Non-Defensive Communication, “A non-defensive question is innocently curious, reflecting the purity of the child who asks how a flower grows or what makes an airplane fly.” We invite others to share their true experience when we ask questions without hidden agendas and to clarify understanding. So many relationship issues could be resolved by bringing curiosity to your daily communications.

How to Practice Cultivating Curiosity

Here are some ways to cultivate a more curious life:


Questions: Practice asking questions with openness and neutrality. Practice with strangers in stores and with people close to you. It can be as simple as, “What does that mean to you?” Or, “What are your thoughts about___?” Stop thinking you know all the answers…be open to being surprised!



Inquiries: An inquiry is an open-ended question designed to broaden your perspective. For example: “What would make life a daring adventure for me?” “Where in my life do I assume I already know?”




Assumptions: These impact how we treat strangers as well as loved ones. Challenge your assumptions by asking, “What if that’s not true?” “What is truer here than my initial response is allowing me to see?” What other choices might you make then?



If you truly want to expand your excitement, joy and fulfillment in business, sprinkle liberal doses of curiosity and watch your life become the fabulous adventure it can be!

Here’s to curiosity!

Love and blessings,

The Power Of Unplugging

The problem with our harried, living on adrenaline, multitasking overloaded culture is that running without stopping strips our lives from meaning.  I’m talking about 50 or 60-hour workweeks, eating lunch at your desk or ‘car dining,’ working late into the night and over weekends, being a slave to your to-do list…

Do you feel like you are running like crazy but never getting anywhere (like the Queen of hearts in Alice in Wonderland)?

Paradoxically, if you unplug regularly you actually get more done!  That’s because regular rest renews your energy and motivation; it reconnects you to your joy, to your communities, and heals your soul.

Sadly, in the relentlessness busyness of modern life, we have a culture that promotes that doing anything is better than doing nothing!  Overriding our natural rhythms enables us to get more done as does the lure of multitasking that teaches us how to never fully engage or fully disengage from anything!  It’s the reason why so many of us experience sleep disorders – we’ve lost the art of being delightfully inactive!

Do you prioritize time for rest?

I’m not talking about sacking out in front of the television; television is hardly restful these days!

No; TV is designed to stimulate you; to make you feel badly about yourself so that you will want to buy or consume something that will make you feel better! Taking a retreat on a regular basis from the demands of your life, whether it’s a 2-hour retreat or an afternoon retreat, will require some planning and education of other key players in your life. Some years ago when Aimée started taking Sunday as her retreat day, she carefully explained her lack of availability for invitations, phone calls and emails on that day of the week.  It didn’t go well…  she was greeted with shock and horror that she wouldn’t be available 24/7.  Invitations came with the request: “Perhaps you could make an exception for this?”  Emailed arrived with a header, “I know you don’t work on Sundays but perhaps you could find time for me?”  She ended up disconnecting the phone and unplugging the computer.

What rejuvenates you?

Planning time for rest is essential and writing in those times into your calendar is a must – but remembering what juices you, what fills you and what recharges your batteries is important too.  Spending time in nature is especially renewing for me, as is napping, meditating, dancing, beach time, dinner or a movie with friends, or walking Bijou, my little dog.  In rest periods, I’ve been asking myself, “What do you need?”  And, I ask it again periodically throughout the day.  Sometimes, I need sleep more than anything.  Sometimes, I needed to simply be in the peace and quiet, the stillness.  Other times, I feel more adventurous or curious, or experience the joy of reading a book cover to cover.

Do you need to be alone?

It’s your choice.  If you can disconnect around other people for a period of time then it’s not necessary to be alone.  Provided they understand the new rules.  You might like to light a candle as a reminder that you are resting for this period of time.  Perhaps later, you would enjoy coming together in a family meal.  Or, to enjoy your partner’s undivided attention as you share your insights.

What are the costs of a life without rest?

Who suffers the most?  The children, who can never get your attention? “Mom!  Mom!”  “I’m on the phone!”  “You’re always on the phone!” Is it your spouse?  Or is it your friends and community?  Or is it you?  Demanding too much out of a day and pushing your body to its limits is like waging war on your soul.

If we only stop when all the work is done, we will never stop.

The 24/7 pace of technology allows us to be seduced by artificial urgency that prevents us from listening to our own deepest truth. When we don’t take the time to really rest, we lose our way.  We “don’t have time” to listen to our inner wisdom.  We “forget” who and what is most important in a well-lived life.  When we are exhausted, we can be surrounded by people all day long and still feel disconnected and lonely.  The frenzy of activity diminishes our capacity for inner peace.

We hope that you will take the time to savour life.

Love and blessings,

Why Adults Need to Play

If it feels like you have less leisure time and fewer unstructured “play” hours in your life, you’re not alone. Play seems to be the first thing to go when our lives get busy. I hear more and more people exclaim, “Play!  Are you kidding, where will I find time for play?”

The truth is our high tech life with its accelerated pace has fostered a culture that seems to be always working, always rushed, and always connected. With cell phones interrupting the theater, laptop computers at the beach, internet connections at every other café, and home offices that beckon us all hours of the night and day, it’s hard to separate “play” from “work.” Yet to maintain balance in our lives, and for our ultimate wellbeing, play is important. Play is supposed to be joyful rather than a task, allowing the experience to unfold, sounds good doesn’t it!

The highest level of play has a component of openness and spontaneity to it, like setting out on an adventure.  Lenore Terr, a psychiatrist at the University of California, San Francisco, and author of Beyond Love and Work: Why Adults Need to Play, argues that play is crucial at every stage of life.

In play, we discover pleasure, cultivate feelings of accomplishment, and acquire a sense of belonging. When we play, we learn and mature and find an outlet for stress.

“Play is a lost key,” Terr writes. “It unlocks the door to ourselves.”

I am excited to be taking a few days to visit family in Seattle next week, my great-nephew’s one-year birthday. A time to getaway and connect with family and longtime friends, and to play with this precious little boy. As it gets closer and my business demands have increased, I began to feel some stress creeping in. You know how it goes: I found myself working extra hours over the weekend to get a solid foundation for the week; the question began bouncing around in my head, “How am I going to get everything in place before I leave?” This is not the energy or experience I want to create from in my personal life or business; it indicated time for a state change. I got up from my desk and took my dog for a walk. The gentle breeze, sunshine and movement were all I needed. I found flowers to rekindle my sense of awe, playful sounds of children at the park, laughter coming from the house I passed by, I immediately felt back on track. Outlined in chalk directly in front of me on the sidewalk was hopscotch, with two little girls standing nearby. I smiled at them and jumped right in, I was taken back to my younger days when hopscotch was essential play in everyday.

When we are completely involved in play, our cares and worries disappear. Sailing, playing a game of tennis, or being thoroughly engrossed in a good novel, we feel pleasurably alive and light-hearted. There is nothing like play that allows us to be present in the moment, and refresh the path for the day. Bring in play when you feel stuck in a project or overwhelmed with a task, it will reignite your creativity.

If you feel like you don’t have enough time to play in your life (and who doesn’t?), try these suggestions:

  • Turn-off. Turn off the television, computer, beeper and cell phone for at least two hours a day.
  • Let your mind wander. Recall what you used to enjoy doing or what you always wanted to do before we became so technology-oriented.
  • Think physical. Go for a walk, ride your bike, break out the croquet set from the basement, go for a swim or a run.
  • Pretend. Pretend you don’t have any cares or worries. Pretend you have all the time in the world to laugh and play and enjoy. Pretend there is no moment other than this.

Play is essential to a happy life and thriving business.

Any time you have the choice of whether to work “just one more hour” or give yourself over to play, consider what Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “This time, like all times, is a very good one, if we but know what to do with it.” How about adding play to your day?  Say yes, right now!

Love and blessings,

Too Loose, Too Tight or Just Right?

As I write this, the cold weather has given way to spring. If you are in Northern California, you have been experiencing temperatures into the 80’s. I feel my body begin to relax and unwind with the warmth of the day and the beauty of the flowers beginning to bloom.

Cold or heat affects the body creating expansion and contraction that are also part of everyday life. It can be as simple as coming up against a food you don’t like or a challenging client that creates a contraction, or being greeted by a smile, a breakthrough for a client or a lovely complement that expands your energy.

Understanding energy has long been an interest and passion of mine; I have come at the topic from many angles over the years. In May of 2014, I felt blessed to be introduced to Shambhala Meditation. I admit for years I have danced around the practice of meditation. I thought it was probably a good thing; I just thought I couldn’t do it. I was never able to still my mind long enough to even remember to follow my breath.

Why would I embark on something that was causing more tension than I already had? Through Shambhala I quickly learned (thank goodness it was quick) that I did not need to silence my mind, only be with what was there and let it be, and meet it all with gentleness. Now this I could do!

In a very short time I saw the benefits showing up in every area of my life, especially in business. As I sat in meditation and my mind brought up every distraction possible, I learned to stay with it. When I was entering data into QuickBooks and my mind told me all the wonderful things I could be doing instead, I learned to stay. I noticed I was getting much more accomplished in less time and feeling really good about what I was producing. Although I had read more books than I can count about time management, now I realized it really isn’t about managing time, it’s about managing the choices that I make. I began to choose to stay with whatever I was doing to completion, before moving on to the next task.

In meditation we are told to notice if we are too loose or too tight. If I am too loose, my posture slumps and shoulders roll forward allowing the head to fall. This loose posture drains energy and makes me tired quickly. If I am too tight, my entire body begins to hurt, and I do mean everything, neck, shoulders, knees, back etc., my breathing becomes labored and every moment feels like an eternity.

I noticed this same concept was present when I was watching a friend knit. If the yarn is held to loosely the loops would be too large, held too tight and the pattern was lost. In order for the piece to turn out she had to find the middle ground, not too loose or too tight.

For the past couple of months I have been too tight with my business activities. Another way to say that is that I was too serious, attempting to figure out the next step. Of course I needed to do what truly mattered and yet even that needs to be held at the middle ground, not too loose or too tight. I started having more fun, laughing more, and focusing on having enhanced systems that allow me to easily track projects.

Aimée and I had lunch outdoors at a lovely restaurant last week during our business day. We accomplished everything we intended and yet I felt like I was on vacation. By the end of our workday I was energized rather than tired.

Without focusing on it, a new business client showed up that is perfect. I have my systems in place to easily take on this new workload without creating overwhelm. With all the diverse aspects of business I have learned not to be too loose or too tight, just right!

Take some time to reflect on where you are too loose or too tight with your business. Are you so focused on one outcome or timeline that you have closed off the energy that is attempting to get through and move you forward?

I would love to hear what resonated with you from this article, let’s begin a dialogue. Email me at

Being Perfectly Incomplete

Have you ever experienced having the lyrics of a song stuck in your head?

For days now, I have been walking around with a song playing over and over. Finally, I paid close attention to what was being said and realized how appropriate it was!

This is from the song Masterpiece by Jessie J:

“I still fall on my face sometimes, and I can’t color inside the lines, cause; I’m perfectly incomplete I’m still working on my masterpiece”

How often do we relax into being perfectly incomplete? I believe the opposite is more often true; many are in hot pursuit of perfection in their life and business.

Most of you pursue perfection to some degree — doing the best job you can, setting goals and working hard to reach them, and maintaining high standards. But, perfectionism isn’t about any of this. Perfectionism is a long, maddening drive down a never-ending road for flawlessness; it provides no rest stops for mis-takes, personal limitations, or for changing your mind.

Perfectionism can cause feelings of anxiety, fear, and self-doubt; it can cripple self-esteem, stifle creativity, and put a stumbling block in the way of intimate friendships and love relationships.

Everybody has some “built-in” perfectionism, especially in our achievement-oriented, competitive culture.

In my experience focusing on being perfect kept me uptight, unhappy and unable to celebrate my accomplishments big or small. Over the years I have learned to celebrate not being perfect, what a relief!

Complete this questionnaire to discover how much of a perfectionist you are. (You may notice that some behaviors are very present while others you engaged in more in the past.)

YES | NO I never do anything halfway; it’s all or nothing for me.
YES | NO I believe there’s a certain way to do things and they should always be done that way.
YES | NO I often procrastinate on starting projects. I seldom meet deadlines. Or if I do, I kill myself meeting them.
YES | NO I don’t like to admit not knowing how to do something or to being a beginner. If I can’t do something well, I won’t do it.
YES | NO People say I expect too much of myself, or of them.
YES | NO I don’t think work should be too much fun or pleasurable.
YES | NO Even when I accomplish something, I can feel let down or empty.
YES | NO I criticize myself, and others, often.
YES | NO I like to be in control; if I can’t be in control then I won’t participate.
YES | NO No matter how much I have done, there’s always the weight of more I could do.
YES | NO I don’t delegate often and when I do, I always double-check to make sure the job is done right.

There is a difference between excellence and perfection. Striving to be really good is excellence; trying to be flawless is perfectionism. I invite you to begin celebrating all the places that you are perfectly incomplete, remember, you will always be working on your Masterpiece.

If you’re concerned about your perfectionist behavior, don’t hesitate to call! We can support you. Email we want to hear from YOU.

Happily and perfectly incomplete,

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