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How to Interrupt Negative Patterns

Every day we all feel the pace of life picking up and moving faster and faster; this has become the new normal.  Peace lies in your ability to accept it rather than struggle with it, sometimes easier said than done. The truth is we all experience less desirable/unfavorable situations throughout the days or weeks. Some of these situations are out of your control while some of them are part of your own patterns, and that pattern can be changed. Now isn’t that good news?

When unfavorable situations, actions and emotional conflicts happen again and again in your life—same scene, different characters—there’s a good chance you are in the presence of a negative “pattern.”

Some examples: picking the wrong lovers/partners, conflict with co-workers, being chronically debt ridden, people pleasing, over-giving and a recurring lack of self-care.

At best, these negative patterns cause frustration. At worst, they cause undue suffering, uphill struggle, and sometimes, even disease.

The good news is that you have the power to change these negative patterns. Below are some ways to begin to disrupt them so that you can start laying down new, more positive patterns.

Become aware.

The act of noticing begins the shift away from damaging thoughts or behaviors, no matter how entrenched a pattern seems.  Put simply, you can’t change what you’re not aware of.

One way to become aware is to just sit with your thoughts and watch for the patterns. The goal here is to notice, that’s all.

In this step, focus your awareness on just the facts and feelings of the patterns. Don’t let your mind wander into the analysis of “why” you have them right now, for you will likely try to justify and defend the pattern. You may begin to blame others for this pattern and that will only keep you entrenched in the behavior. You can analyze later (see below); for now, just notice.

Also, ask people you trust to help you see the patterns. (Only talk to your nearest and dearest who will support you without adding any negativity.) Our blind spots are called “blind” for a reason; we just don’t see them. But they’ll be clear as day to others.

Discover the hidden payoff.

Becoming aware of your negative patterns, you see evidence they are disserving, perhaps even damaging, you. For example, if your pattern of conflict with co-workers has made you change jobs a number of times, your resume now reflects that pattern too.

The key to interrupting negative patterns is to understand this: we generally don’t keep repeating behaviors unless, on some level, we get something good out of them.

These hidden reasons are known as “payoffs,” and they either help you get more of something you want or avoid something you don’t want. Even a negative payoff is a payoff.

In the example above, the person in constant conflict with co-workers could be using the conflict to cover up insecurity with his/her work quality. The conflict, in effect, distracts from scrutiny.

Or, the conflict could stem from uncensored outspokenness. The person may have an oppressive situation at home, and being excessively outspoken at work may allow him/her to feel powerful and self-expressed in at least one arena of life.

Many years ago I held a management position within a Boutique Hotel Group. I often worked 60 hours a week, leaving little energy for my intimate relationship or time to do what made me happy. Ultimately, the relationship ended and all I was left with was work. A few years later that I realized I was overly identified by what I “did” rather than who I was and what my true values were. As soon as the awareness was clear the changes were easy to make and I left that position shortly after. That one decision set me on a path where I now experience balance in work and every area of my life.

Look for (and create) positive patterns.

One of the best ways to disrupt the negative patterns that may be wreaking havoc with your life is to also study the positive patterns in your life. For these can be “grafted” onto your negative patterns with great success. Choose an area of your life that is working well to analyze why that is so. Then, apply the same level of focus to any area that is not thriving to the same degree.

For example, you can utilize the discipline you’ve always had around working out regularly to stop using credit to finance your lifestyle.

When you look at your negative patterns as a gift rather than a curse, you can soften your resistance to looking at them. Bringing humor to a situation can begin to dissolve layers of patterning. Clients often exclaim, “I can’t believe I am dealing with this again after all these years”.

We then laugh and remember change comes in small and big chunks as and when you are ready.

Begin with a pattern that is less charged/intimidating if you like … then, just begin!

Love and Blessings,

The Curvy Line to Success

Have you heard the saying “The shortest distance between two points is a straight line” ?

Of course you have, it is a basic truth.

Over the years, I have pondered the principle of the straight line, hoping that if I found it I would create the career of my dreams; the problem was at the time I had no idea what my dream career would be.  I watched and listened to others as I attempted to find the key to this journey.

I was completely baffled at how anyone could graduate from high school, have their college years all mapped out, already knowing what their major would be; then, on to graduate school while keeping their career goals clearly in mind, following that straight line.

To say my career path did not follow a straight line makes me break out in hysterical laughter. The truth is I have never done anything the conventional way, although I longed for it along the way.  I did not have anyone guiding me to be my unique self, to follow my intuition, or telling me that staying in one career wasn’t the only way to success, so I suffered with the underlying belief that I was doing it wrong.

Over the years, I was highly valued in the many positions that I held, I was always promoted into upper management, made an excellent salary, all the while wondering what could have been if I had been able to find the “straight line.” I was not yet able to value the diversified skill set that I had acquired. I continued to feel that I had not done it “right,” whatever right is.  Yet, in spite of my mental challenges, I began to develop what I saw as my own unique gifts and talents. I felt split in my corporate environment which did not support sharing of intuition, internal guidance, and using attraction but expected striving, nose to the grindstone, and working 70 hours a week. I knew there had to be a better way, now the task was to find it.

I did find a better way, through focusing on my spiritual growth and what made me unique both in business and as a woman.  I began listening to my guidance, taking classes, immersing myself into self-discovery courses along with following visionaries that were sharing the same message.

I left structured employment 12 years ago at a time when many well meaning friends said I was crazy. They told me that I needed to stay a bit longer, save more money, and make sure I was stable. I knew one thing for sure; if I did not make a change I would become very sick. Just as I was pulling together all of my courage to give my notice, a card arrived in the mail, it said, “sometimes the only mode of transportation available is a leap of faith.” That was all I needed to leap! 3 months later I was an entrepreneur doing anything I could to keep the money flowing in and creating a business.

I bet you are not surprised that I did not follow the “straight line.” I did not have a business plan, a marketing plan or, for that matter, even an office. I had not heard of a business coach and did not have the funds to pay one at the time anyway.

By this time in my life, what I did have was a very highly tuned intuition. I was guided to become a Certified Life Coach. Very quickly the practical aspects of coaching were married with the intuitive guidance and my business was formed. Rather than seeking the straight line path I allowed myself to be guided each step of the way through an amazing journey of creation and expansion.

When I did hire my first business coach, I knew immediately I was in the right place. He came from a long line of surgeons. He had followed diligently the “straight line” to success and after 14 years of schooling he had his own plastic surgery practice. A mere 4 years later he was worn out, consumed with debt and very unhappy. He said that the MD on his jacket stood for, “Mostly Disappointed.” After much soul searching, he sold his practice and followed his passion to become a full time business coach, he is now very happy and yes, successful.

I have a skill set that assists me in managing every area of my business that came out of learning customer service at a time when it was highly revered in the Airline Industry, managing 3 separate medical clinics, owning a clothing business, Assistant Manager of a Boutique Hotel and Spa Director for two amazing properties.  I now am the co-founder of What Truly Matters: Living Your Juiciest Life Ever!

Ironically, I realize now that all of my past experience led me to and prepared me for my current business success.  And, as I draw on the years of diverse experience, I am very grateful that I took the “curvy line to success.”

Love and Blessings,

Top 10 Daily Practices of Loving Relationships

February brings us into the month of Love. For many this is a joyful time as Valentine’s

Day approaches, for others it only brings stress. For some the feeling of being alone, not part of a couple rises to the surface, everywhere you look it seems that everyone is coupled. For others the stress comes from feeling they need to create the most romantic over the top event of the year, and what if it is not enough.

I am focusing on love that sustains over the long term and not only romantic love and not only on Valentine’s Day. It would be very hard, if not impossible, to find anyone that has not been touched in recent years by the loss of a loved one, to long term or very sudden illnesses.

Cancer is the #2 cause of death in the United States; in 2013, 1,600 people died of cancer per day. We must begin to cherish the relationships we have in every area of our lives now.

We are experiencing relationships on many levels every day; each one is filled with the opportunity for loving expression. Each relationship is truly a treasure when you slow down enough to look at it with fresh eyes.

Living with those you love—whether they be a spouse, significant other, housemate, children or older parents—brings intimacy and stresses that are different from other relationships.

Here are 10 daily practices that will inspire you to keep the love flowing and the relationships growing.  

  1. Share something from your day. Involve your loved ones in your life outside the home—or inside your heart. Share something that surprised and delighted you.
  2. Express appreciation. Show that you notice their daily contributions to the family and your life. Receiving a “thank you” for doing the dishes or taking out the trash feels soooo good!
  3. Eat dinner together. Connecting with each other over food is an ancient human practice. It’s worth it to make time for this warming activity, while allowing yourself to transition into your evening together.
  4. Do something for yourself. Doing what nourishes you strengthens your relationships. No one can love you more than you love yourself! Taking time for your needs is not selfish it is essential.
  5. Smile. Laughing is even better—especially if it’s at yourself!
  6. Express regret and make up. The sooner the better. And from a truly open heart. Learning to say you are sorry will ease tension and bring all relationships to a higher level.
  7. Take responsibility. Renew daily your vow to hunt out your own “stuff,” to own it as yours, and to do the work of transforming it, end the pattern of “blame”.
  8. Be a sanctuary. Give psychic “shade” to each other from the scorching rays of difficult days, no dumping.
  9. Speak from the heart. Risk telling the truth about your feelings. When you own your feelings a new depth of connection is available.
  10. Envision the best. It’s a wonderful bedtime meditation to visualize your loved ones inhabiting their highest, best selves, bathe them in love

I invite you to begin living and loving consciously. Where can you spread light and love today? Notice what your experience is over the next 30 days as you commit to this practice.

Email info@whattrulymatters.com to share your insights and experiences.
Love and Blessings,

Choosing To Be Surprised and Delighted

With each new day you see and experience many things all around you, too many to count, really.

From the moment you open your eyes in the morning you are looking at a new canvas, even if you are in the same room you have slept in for years. The light will be different each day based on the seasons and the outside weather. If you are well rested, your vision will be clearer, or a bit foggier if you struggled through the night. The more familiar the surroundings the less you really see. You get locked into what you expect will be there and not really, “see” at all.

Remember a time in your life when you lay on the ground doing nothing but watching the clouds floating by in the sky?  Suddenly, much to your delight, the cloud became an angel, dog, horse, and then gently shifted back into being a cloud once again. When you seize the opportunity to slow down and be with what is all around you, the ability to see is enhanced.

This is also true of seeing the people in your life. How often do we stop and gently take in the presence of the people we intimately share our daily lives with?  It would change how we appreciate each other, seeing each other fresh each day.  The greatest gift you can give another is to really see them, not through the eyes of what you already know and expect, rather with curiosity asking, “Who is this divine being today?“  Go one step further, and share with love what you see; relationships will deepen because of this.

Photo by Adrian MendozaOn New Year’s Eve, I met with a friend from my hometown that I had not seen for at least 40 years. It was easy to meet this man and really see him for who is now, without the imprint of past impressions.  We enjoyed coffee and conversation, reconnecting and finding much in common.

He is a photographer, a camera bouncing off his hip as he walks. On the way back to the car he snapped a photo periodically; I wondered what caught his eye.

My car was in the bank parking lot, one I use often. I noticed he had taken a photo and I glanced in that direction. I saw a wall of brick and wood and was sure he must have taken the shot of something else.  At that moment he said, “Look at this.”  I gasped when I looked at the photo.  It was of the wall I initially looked at, although I had not really seen it at all.  In the photo there was an ornate pattern that was stunning, created by the shadows of the trees nearby. In that moment I realized how much I missed what was right in front of me and began looking at everything differently. I am now seeing the colors, angles, shading and so much more.  A whole new experience has opened up for me from that one special moment.

We are in the initial days of a New Year, 2014 is ahead full of promise. Often, the year’s intentions are strong and compelling in beginning of January.  All too soon the routine takes over and we find ourselves back in the life that we were so determined to change just a few short weeks ago. What if you do it differently this year? Keep bringing yourself back and stay in touch with What Truly Matters to you. The Universe provides opportunities every minute to surprise and delight you if you open your eyes to see. I invite you to begin today, what do you see?

           

Love and Blessings,

Living Stress Free is a Choice…

I have been deeply pondering this idea of Living Stress Free as a Choice

Have you noticed that when your attention is on something specific the opportunities show up everywhere to challenge you?  “So, you think you can just choose to be stress free, ok, let’s see how you deal with this situation!”

My first challenge was at the post office, I had received a yellow slip that required me to go to the window. I planned when I would go since I am completely aware that this is the holiday season and our already busy post office will be packed. I allotted enough time to ensure a stress free experience. The atmosphere was exactly as I expected, a long line had already formed many people with numerous packages to mail. I scanned the windows and was pleasantly surprised to see all 4 windows open, which is rare, now I was encouraged that the line had potential to move quickly, yes I was remaining stress free and even had a slight smile. It was not long until I noticed 4 windows were open and yet only 2 had people actually working in them, I was determined not to let it bother me.

Standing at the first window was a mother and her 6-year old, very animated, and energetic daughter who was attempting to use the strings of her knit hat to create a jump rope; the results were poor at best. With each failed attempt, she let her frustration show very loudly. I was looking for every way to be inspired by the youthful exuberance that I was witnessing. Ok, I did have a thought that the mother could acknowledge her daughter’s presence as she was tugging on her sweater screaming, “Mom I want to see what the man is doing!” at least 10 times. Not going to give my well being away, I was determined to stay out of judgment and stress free, so I put the smile back on my face. Now I glanced at the clock and as 20 minutes had passed with only 1 additional person being served, I decided to pay more attention to what was going on; the mother and daughter were both getting passports. It was obvious with the number of questions being asked that this window would be tied up for a lot longer.

I was aware of the grumblings from those in line, “Only two windows open this is ridiculous!” “The post office wants us to do more business with them – well, they better start providing better service!” “What the heck is going on here anyway?”… You get the idea. I took a deep breath and returned to choosing to be stress free. I was feeling pretty darn good with how I was doing, when the man behind decided to engage me directly with his complaints and how this was making him late for his next stop, that he was a working man after all: he was angry. I just nodded my head showing a compassionate smile and kept breathing making sure I did not match his irritation.

Once again I looked at the clock; 35 minutes have passed without any movement.  I noticed that a little annoyance began to creep in, as I started paying attention to what was going on at the one other open window.  A woman had numerous packages that showed no addresses! Now, that is very unusual. She was asking the clerk, “If I mail this to Canada, first class, how much will it be?”  “If I add insurance what will that price be?” “If I send it regular post what will that price be?”  “Oh, I forgot to ask when will the package arrive if it is sent by first class or regular post?” Now, I don’t know why it makes  any difference if you are only asking for information or actually sending the packages, yet for some reason this is where I lost my stress free choice and went into judgment; I decided that this woman was taking too much time and needed to move on so that paying customers could complete their transactions. I caught myself immediately and started to chuckle, right at that moment, I re-chose my stress free experience.

At the same time the passports were completed, the other woman had all the information she needed and the little girl merrily skipped out with her mom. All was well I thought, the line would move quickly now. At that moment a collective groan was heard from those in line and I saw that the first window had put up a closed sign; he had run out of register tape, I could not contain my laughter. Within a few moments the window opened again and the line did move quickly and I was out the door; it took 45 minutes to receive my package and I had a great lesson in the process! I congratulated myself on staying stress free for the majority of the time, and left the post office with a smile.

Many of us hurry through life going from one place to the next, focused on  running the next errand, and believing we will never have enough time to do all the things we need to get done. We allow the circumstances of the day to dictate how we feel.  Being anxious and stressed out does not make anything better or make the line move faster. Yet, you can be calm through it all if you just realize that you are the creator of this life you chose to live and continue to choose to live. Life is lived through a series of choices and being free from stress is one of those choices.

It is my hope that you choose to be stress free so that you may happily live the life that you desire from this day forward.

Love and Blessings,

Learning from Simon and Garfunkel…

”Slow down, you move too fast
You got to make the morning last
Just kicking down the cobblestones
Looking for fun and feeling groovy”

December is upon us, ushering in the end of 2013, amazing how fast the time has gone. This is the perfect time for completions, an essential component to align your energies for the New Year. I hear you groan, “How can I add one more thing with everything I already have ahead of me to make it through the holidays and this year?”

Just for a moment contemplate what it would be like to actually, thrive and enjoy the month fully, versus focusing on how to get through it!  With the tendency to add more to do’s and pressure to your life, it is more important than ever to slow down and connect within. If you are overextending yourself and just getting through the days, you will miss the opportunity for reflection.

How you began the year was important and how you end it is just as important.

The past year has provided many challenges; no one has been immune, we have experienced energies that have never before been present. Each day became an adventure in learning how to navigate new territory. Along with the challenges came miracles and breakthroughs in relationships, heart openings, in business and every area of life; capturing these moments will show you the richness of this year’s journey.

You know where you started, so here are a number of questions for you to consider as you move toward the finish line of 2013. You may decide to walk with one question at a time, and to jot down the insights that come up during the day allowing your inner guidance to direct you. Or, you may decide to block out some quiet uninterrupted time to deeply reflect. Add any of your own questions that are calling to be answered:

  1. What specific results have you achieved so far this year?
  2. Are you healthier, wealthier, and wiser? Describe in detail.
  3. Are you making progress towards your life’s vision or just holding ground?
  4. What results are you committed to achieve by the end of the year?
  5. How have you grown and what have you learned this year?
  6. Is there any unfinished business that needs to be tended to in your life?
  7. Are you actively pursuing what’s most important on a daily basis? If not what is it?
  8. What habits do you need to change to ensure better results?
  9. What is the key issue that inhibits your ability to perform at your best?

I suggest you give yourself the time to answer and honor these questions, because when it comes to the last days of the year, everyday and everything you do counts.

Happy Holidays!

Love and Blessings,

Love In Action

I am so happy that I have been around long enough now that I am seeing the payoff of gaining some wisdom.

Yes, I claim that I carry wisdom and tons of it, although in the past that wisdom often went out the window when I was with family. Oh you know how it goes; you start out really great, so happy to see each other, happy to be connecting again, and then the old starts leaking in.

You remember how you have always been irritated with this behavior and that behavior; you would think there had been enough years that have gone by that you each would have evolved a bit! So how do you relate lovingly in spite of it all?

The saying, “Words are cheap, action speaks,” is never more true than when applied to family situations and sharing your love. Whether interacting with a romantic partner, your children or other family members, if the actions aren’t there to back up the loving words, it all means nothing. Below are 10 of the best ways to say, “I love you” in your actions. But there are thousands more. See how creative you can get in coming up with your own ideas.

  1. Greet your loved ones with a big smile, a hug and a kiss.
  2. Really listen to what your loved ones are saying; give them your undivided and undistracted attention.
  3. Spend time doing some things they enjoy, you may find you enjoy them also
  4. Do simple (even random) acts of kindness, such as massaging shoulders or feet, cooking a favorite meal, running a bath.
  5. Spend one-on-one time with your loved ones, with no particular agenda.
  6. Commit to truly accepting each other’s faults.
  7. Be kind and respectful no matter what you are sharing, always preserving another’s self-esteem.
  8. Be impeccable with your word. If you say you’ll do something, do it, and by the time you said you’d do it.
  9. Take responsibility for your part in any conflict, and then look at how you can do better next time. Step out of the blame game.
  10. Share yourself and what lives deeply inside of you. This is a precious gift and conveys trust and security.

During my recent trip to visit family #10 played a big role. I have always been seen as different in my family and yes it’s true, not less than, and yet very different. Over the years I was not fully myself attempting to smooth the waters, not this time. I showed up fully being myself and guess what… I was acknowledged, appreciated and valued. Yes, we have all changed over the years and yet what made the change possible is that “I” made the decision to show up differently, I decided to let my light shine, share my insights, ideas and opinions and let their reaction be fine, whatever that reaction was. Much to my delight the reaction I received was very positive.

As you enter into this holiday season, spending time with family, friends and loved ones I invite you let your past stories fall away and step into each moment more present and loving allowing your true light and love to shine through.

Share your experiences and insights at info@whattrulymatters.com we would love to hear from you!

Love and Blessings,

Following Autumn’s Lead

In autumn parkEach morning I begin my day, sitting in my favorite chair, reading, pondering or writing, all part of my daily spiritual practice. For over 3 years now I have looked out at the house across the street directly in my view. Not much happens at this house, from the outside anyway. Each weekday one of the parents drives their son, high school age, to school. Within a few minutes the driver returns and all is quiet. Rarely do I see activity during the day or in the evening. I am not actually sitting all day just watching this house, so something could be going on that I do not witness.

Recently, all that began to change, as a new roof was added, the house was painted and new windows were installed. I watched as the owners spent more time outside, neighbors soon stopped by to socialize standing out on the lawn, everyone was jovial and interacting. The front curtains that have always been drawn are now open. The facelift and repairs to the house seemed to uplift those that lived inside. I found myself asking what areas of my life would benefit from some attention, a facelift of sorts?

Autumn is here there is a slight nip in the air. The days are starting to get shorter. And just as the squirrels have gotten down to the business of storing nuts for the winter, we find ourselves a little more serious and less carefree than in summer. In autumn, the daylight lasts less than twelve hours.  According to Oriental medicine, the season of autumn is associated with the element of Metal, which governs organization, order, communication, the mind, setting limits, and protecting boundaries, can you feel these areas calling for attention?  This month, the planet Mercury goes retrograde from October 21st – November 10th, which actually supports completions. It’s a good time to finish projects that you began in spring and summer and, of course, it’s also the perfect time to be more introspective, while focusing on indoor projects. The shorter days and cooler temperatures naturally call for slowing down to see what is calling you from within.

Sleep is another important aspect of staying healthy in the fall. The ancients advised that people should retire early at night and rise with the crowing of the rooster during the autumn: “Soul and spirit should be tranquil.”

Here are some suggestions to support your process this autumn:

  • Notice where your environment does not support peace and ease, make a plan to correct it.
  • Make a list of projects by time frame. 10 minutes or less, 30 minutes or less, 1 hour or less, etc. When you have some extra time look at your list and complete just one thing in the time you have allotted. You might clean out a drawer, clear piles of magazines, rearrange furniture, etc.
  • Clear out closets and drawers; donate clothing, books, and toys. Did you know that the average person wears 20% of their clothing 80% of the time?
  • Dedicate time each day/week to tuning into your internal process. What is calling to you for attention?
  • Get more rest. Take a short nap during the day; go to bed ½ hour earlier each night.

Allow the energies of autumn to support you. When you are in alignment with the energies of the present season you will feel more connected while experiencing a heightened sense of ease and joy.

I would enjoy hearing what you are going to do differently at this pivotal time of year: info@whattrulymatters.com

Love and blessings,

What Are You Attracting?

"There’s a spring in ‘Marissa’s’ step, and she simply radiates positive, upbeat, can-do energy. She’s “in the flow.” Good things continue to happen in her work and personal life with seeming effortlessness. 

Contrast this with ‘Elise,’ who puts in twice as many hours at work—super-long, hard hours every day—yet rarely achieves what she’s striving so hard to create. 

What’s the difference? Hint: It has to do with Marissa’s ability to attract what she wants. However, this kind of attraction has nothing to do with looks.

Rather, it’s about Marissa’s ability to attract abundance by living in a way that’s in tune with her purpose, her passions, her most vital and alive self.

By now you have heard of The Law of Attraction. It’s not just some woo-woo theory, it’s scientific: like matter attracts like. It’s similar to a radio broadcast: when tuned into a particular station, you will only hear (attract) the frequency of radio waves that match that station’s signal. And when that happens, everything seems easy, not a struggle.

“Once you change the way you are inside, the outer world changes,” writes Joe Vitale, author of the best seller, The Attractor Factor. Focusing on What Truly Matters sets you on a path of ease to be creating the life you want to be living, rather than just getting through the day.  Here are the key ingredients for attracting into your life what you want:  

  • Get clear on what you want and why. It’s not enough to know what you don’t want. You can’t get what you want until you know what that is!  Getting crystal clear is where the “magic” of attraction all begins. 
  • Imagine it. See it as happening. “Conscious change is brought about by the two qualities inherent in consciousness: attention and intention,” writes Deepak Chopra. “Attention energizes, and intention transforms. Whatever you put your attention on will grow stronger in your life.”
  • Keep yourself receptive. Exercise, eat healthily, play, and relax. Stress, exhaustion, sluggishness, etc., can all interfere with attraction. In the radio station analogy, they become the “static” that interferes with the “frequencies” of what you wish to attract. Though taking a day off to relax, rather than working frantically, may seem as difficult as stepping off a precipice, it can be just what is needed.    
  • Listen to your intuitive nudges. Attraction isn’t about sitting back and waiting for it all to come to you. Action is always required to meet goals and make dreams come true. Your job is to ask for what you want, and then to act on the inner nudges you get to do things, like make phone calls, write letters, visit a certain person, or whatever. Don’t worry if your “nudges” don’t make immediate sense. The “why” will reveal itself in due time. 
  • Surrender control. Surrender is not a negative word, this means to let go and trust. Let go of the particular way in which things will happen. Let go of fear, doubt, worry and disappointment. Let go of the notion of struggle. Trust that the outcome will be just right. 

When you are focusing on these key areas you automatically put yourself in the flow. So whether it’s a job promotion, landing that huge client, buying a new house, or deciding to take time for yourself, claim your dream. It’s waiting for you right now, you are meant to live fully.

I invite you to share your experience as you focus more fully on your dreams.

Blessings,

Finding Your Way Back To Love…

Little girl with her mother on the sea sideA career, whether it is recently launched, or many years down the path, is filled with high notes and low notes. I know each one of you can bring to mind a special moment that you felt your work made a difference to another, and consequently enhanced your well being; it is the deeper reason we are able to show up day after day. Pause for a moment and allow that situation come to mind, it may surprise you which one shows up. I am blessed to have had many special moments that stand out over the years, all of them different depending on what my career path was at the time. Yet, I have never had an experience more impacting and meaningful that I did last month.

Aimée and I offer a full or half-day “deep dive” sessions for those that are ready to break through old patterns and energies in the fastest and most supportive manner. Usually, individuals book a private session for themselves and the results are tremendous. This time two of our clients, mother and daughter, decided it was time to take their relationship to a new level and booked a full day. This required courage, openness, honesty, love and vulnerability.

Along with the guides, we facilitated a day of open communication, asking the questions that have been underneath the wounding for years, looking at how misperceptions led to one disappointment after another, so you see where the courage came in…  As the day unfolded, years of pain were released layer by layer. We witnessed each person feel and release their emotions, and then relax, begin to trust, and open to the love that was always available, to be seen with fresh eyes and embracing the possibilities that now spread out in front of them.

Knowing that they would be walking a new way of being with each other they made agreements on how they would move forward when disagreements or old patterns showed up. By the end of the day they were softer with each other, bathed in love, as a huge weight had been lifted. They were looking forward to spending time together with this new level of ease and appreciation, a true new beginning, we were all in tears. Their final comments were “Two years of therapy completed in one day, who knew?” and “This has been one of the most important days of my life.”

What was reinforced in me from facilitating and witnessing these two amazing women was the importance of taking the opportunity to clear the old and make way for a brand new beginning, no matter what your age or your grievances. My mother has passed, and yet I pondered what it would have been like if I had had the opportunity to clear the hurt and return to being open and loving with my mother?  I am committed in a new way to be current in all of my relationships; I have seen what happens when you do and I want that in my life!!

Within a few weeks of that session my 22-year old nephew passed. Death of a loved one is a harsh reminder of the impermanence of life; we don’t all make it old age. For the 2 years of his illness, his family surrounded him and bathed him in love, which he received and gave back 10-fold. I felt very complete with this relationship, he knew how important he was to me, and I shared my love fully. I realize that for many, this would be the exception rather than the rule, and I am deeply grateful. When we have held hurts for years, the regret that comes with a death increases the depth of the grief, living in the energy “if only”.

Each day presents many opportunities to be current in your relationships, here are some suggestions you can implement now:

  • Let someone special to you know that you care, send a card, letter or call.
  • Clean up your messes quickly, saying “I’m sorry” goes a long way.
  • Gain clarity on what grievances you are holding and commit to clearing them now. You may need assistance, so get the help you need – this is the easier softer way.
  • Commit to being clear and current at the end of each day by conducting a “daily review.”
    Acknowledge what you did well and also what you could have done better. Forgive yourself for anything you perceive you did poorly, and if necessary make amends.
  • Each day seize the energy of a new beginning and begin afresh.

Please post your comments as this is a very rich topic of conversation.

Call or email for more information about scheduling your own “deep dive,” we would be honored to serve you.

 

Love and Blessings,

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